Good Bye Kisses
by Who am I. Well. I'm just Me
Summary: Raph notices some changes in Leo's health and starts to worry. WARNING:CHARACTER DEATH! Art by NeoFox
1. Chapter 1

Hi there, Who is back! Actually, I never left but... ok, ok I think you got the point already ^^! I was re-reading some old fics of mine and one of them caught my attention: **Good Night kisses. **So... once I finished re-reading it I thought: _"Hmmm, what if I write a sequel? A dramatic one!" _

So, here it is! My 1st sequel! For those who are gonna read this, you should read **Good Night kisses** first so you can understand this new fic. It's gonna be all in **Raph's POV**. I hope you enjoy it and don't forget to review! Your reviews make me HAPPY! ^^

Nope, I don't own TMNT

* * *

**Good Bye kisses**

**Raph's POV**

It's been two weeks since I discovered that mushy thing Leo did when we have nightmares. Y'know… da _good night kisses_. I kinda accepted this _"Mommy Leo"_ behavior after lots of arguments, kicks and lectures.

Things have been pretty normal after that. He still keeps da mothering attitude, mostly with Mikey... I don't know how that kid manages to have so many nightmares! Leo's wound has healed finally and now he's allowed to train with us.

Call me crazy, but I haven't argued with Leo lately! In fact, we've been talking, agreeing almost in everything…_ Heck!_ I also let him ride my bike once! I guess since I discovered Leo's kind and soft side my behavior started changing… in a good way, of course.

Now, we're here in our patrols… playin' tag with da others. What! Just 'cause we're patrolling doesn't mean we can't have some fun. And now… who'll be the next victim?

…

…

"Hah! I saw ya Don!" I yelled and ran full speed. But that wasn't Don. I just tackled Leo… oops!

"Heh… guess I'm tagged" Leo said.

"Sorry bro, I thought ya were Don" I said helping him to stand up.

"Guess again, Raph! Tagged!" Don appeared from nowhere and tagged me. Shell!

"Aww! No fair! C'mon Leo, we gotta catch them!" I started running towards Don but then I noticed Leo wasn't following me.

"You go first… I'll… catch you later" Leo said panting. He's tired already?

"Ya ok?" I asked kinda worried. It's not normal seeing a tired Leo on a simple game of tag.

"Yeah, yeah. Just… catching… my breath. Go get them" Leo said smirking. Well, if he insists… I left him alone and started chasing Mikey.

...

...

Hmm… weird. He's been doing that a lot lately. Come to think of it… he never gets _that_ tired after a couple of rounds of tag. Sumthin's not right with him… but maybe is just my mind playin' games with me. I hope.

"GOTCHA!" WHAT DA…!

"AHHH! Mikey! Don't scare me like that!" Tsk… da lil' knucklehead really knows how to gimme a heart attack.

"Sorry bro, but you totally spaced out" Mikey said.

"I did?" Seriously, _I did?_

"Yeah! You were just stood there doing nothing. You ok? And where's Leo?" Mikey asked.

"Leo's catching his breath"

"Again?" Eh? What Mikey meant with _again_?

"What Mikey wants to say is that Leo's been getting tired a lot lately" Don appeared and joined the conversation "I've seen him on training and…"

"Have ya talked to him?" I asked.

"Yeah… and what does he say? _I'm ok, nothing to worry about; just catching my breath, no biggie, just this old stitches, too much exercise…_ Stop me when you want Raph, because I have more of those ones" Don answered. I didn't know Leo had so many excuses in reserve!

"Whoa! And I thought I was The King of excuses! I'm losing my sparkle!" Mikey said dramatically. What a lame brain!

"Shut it, Mikey! This is serious. Don, can ya analyze his blood or sumthin'?"

"I don't think that'll be necessary, Raph. I have some doubts about his condition, too. But I guess he's just recovering from all those days he wasn't allowed to train" Don explained. That made sense but I'm still worried.

"Could be. Well, it's getting late. We better go back to the lair" I said making my way to the next roof.

"Guys, don't you think it's a little weird Leo is not here yet?" Mikey asked following Don and me.

"Maybe 'cause he left already" I answered not believing what I just had said.

"But he always comes or calls first" Mikey replied.

"Er… guys? I found him" Don said. Mikey and I reached the next roof where I left Leo. Yeah, he was there… asleep. Now, _that's_ weird.

"Seems like someone didn't make it to the bed" Mikey teased.

"Help me carry him, Donnie"

* * *

Both Donnie and I carried Leo all the way home. We put him in his bed and then he started to open his eyes again.

"Nn…wha…where…" Leo mumbled.

"Go back to sleep. Ya have to rest"

"Ok" That was the last thing he said before he fell asleep again. Shell, he was tired!

"Well, I'm off for today. Night guys" Don said and left the room being followed by Mikey.

"You're not coming, Raph?" Mikey asked before leaving.

"Nah! I guess I'll stay here tonight. He won't mind anyway"

"And you say Leo's the mother hen here" Mikey chuckled and left.

I ignored his comment. I have my reasons for staying here: I'm worried about Leo and I couldn't just let him sleep alone tonight. What if he needs sumthin' and he's just too weak to get up and get it by himself? Ok, ok… that's being motherly, I know. But I can't help it… I'm worried. I only hope Donnie is right and Leo's just recovering his strength.


	2. Chapter 2

Update! ^^ Guess what time is it? **6: 27 am**... and **I haven't slept at all!** Can't help it, inspiration came at **2: 10 am** and I just needed to let it out! Plus, I was chatting ^^ hehe Got distracted and that's why it took me so long, sorry.

This is all writen in **Raph's POV** and don't forget to check **Good Night Kisses **first so you can understand this fic!

**

* * *

7:00 am**

It's kinda normal our bodies have accustomed to get up, go to the kitchen and then to the dojo at this hour almost like robots or sumthin' like that.

Ok, I understand that's because of all these years of training and stuff.

What I don't understand is why _Leo _is _not_ here!

He's the only one who gets up and does the other stuff before us every morning! He and sensei get up at _6_ and do some lil exercises till the rest of us leave our beds.

Last night, he was ok. No fever, no bad dreams; he slept like a baby! _I don't get it_. Hmm… better start stretching up, Splinter just entered.

* * *

"Good morning, my sons" Splinter said.

"Good morning, sensei" the three turtles bowed.

"Today we will start with sparring matches. Since Leonardo is not here, Michelangelo you will spar with…" Splinter said but suddenly another voice interrupted him.

"Sorry I'm late, sensei!" Leo said as he arrived to the dojo.

"Hey, sleepy head!" Mikey teased.

"I'm so sorry, Master Splinter. I don't know what happened to me this morning. But it won't happen again" Leo said sheepishly.

"It is alright, Leonardo. You will spar with Michelangelo" Splinter said.

Once Leo joined the other, the pairs started their sparring routine. Mikey's moves were fast and precise while Leo's were a little clumsy but still strong when he hit. The orange masked turtle sent a kick to Leo's stomach pushing him away and almost making the blue masked turtle to fall down.

"Nice moves, lil bro. Have you been training?" Leo said impressed by Mikey's moves.

"Keep laughing, Leo. I'm so gonna beat you!" Mikey chuckled.

"In your dreams, Mikey" Leo said charging into battle again.

While Raph and Don sparred, the red masked turtle noticed his eldest brother's moves. The youngest of the three was easily beating Leo, which was very weird and unusual. Sure Mikey was athletic, but he never could beat Leo… until today. With a few more of kicks and punches, Leo fell down and ended up pinned by Mikey. Raph couldn't believe Leo had lost; this little distraction almost cost him, Don sent a fist directly to Raph's jaw making him stumble. When the genius turtle sent another one, Raph caught it twisting Don's wrist and sending him to ground.

"My sons, it is enough for today. Winners: Raphael and Michelangelo. Well done; you are dismissed" Splinter announced and left the room.

"Woohoo! In your face, Leo!" Mikey yelled happily.

"Good job, Mikey. You're definitely getting better" Leo said smirking.

"Am I? I thought that was a lucky shot" Mikey said surprised.

"Well, it wasn't. You're seriously getting better. And I mean… seriously. If you keep training like that… you could beat Raph someday" Leo said.

"And I said that extra training was for nothing! Thanks for the advice Leo!" Mikey said. Once Leo got up he noticed Don was sat in a corner of the dojo looking not so happy.

"You ok, Don?" Leo asked in concern as he sat beside Don.

"I don't know why I always lose when I spar with Raph" Don sighed.

"You use your arms too much. Try to use the legs more often and don't attack first. You always make that mistake" Leo commented.

"Yeah, I guess. Anyway, I have to update some new programs" Don said getting up and making his way out of the dojo,

"Don't stay there too long. I don't want you to miss lunch again" Leo said and left the dojo as well.

* * *

Ok… lemme get this straight; first: Leo gets tired in the middle of a tag game; second: he gets up late and now he loses against _MIKEY_? The knucklehead is not _that good _like Leo said!

By the way, guess what's Mikey doin' now…

No, he ain't watching TV.

No, neither with his comics.

Ya give?

Well… since Leo told Mikey _he was good_… heh, liar… Mikey has been _training!_ Yep, just as I said: T.R.A.I.N.I.N.G. Training! Call me crazy but sumthin' not right here. Maybe I'm in a different dimension!

Ok, ok… that sounded stupid. Geez! I'm starting to think like Mikey!

"Hey Raph, you ok?" Eek! I hate when Leo appears from nowhere!

* * *

"Er… yeah. Why ya ask?" Why he wouldn't ask is the real question! I spaced out again!

"You're sat there just staring at… nothing" Leo said. I already knew that, duh!

"Well, I… I was… just thinking" Lame excuse.

"Hmm… can you come for sec?"

"Sure" I followed him to his…

Wait a sec… his room? He never lets anyone to get in… well, not in the day; just in the night if we have bad dreams (mostly Mikey) Why da shell he's taking me there?

"I wanna show you something but you have to promise the others won't know" Leo said in a serious tone.

"Eh… ok?" This is getting weird. I saw him searching sumthin' in a kind of sketching book.

"Tell me, you built the first shell-cycle right?" He asked.

"Yeah, all from spare parts. Casey helped me a little with the main parts and fuel. Then, Don did his magic with the speed… well, after he lectured me for the fact of havin' a bike without tellin' Splinter, of course" I swear I'd never seen Don so angry before. When I showed him the bike, he yelled me for almost half an hour!

"Good to hear it, because I need your help with something" Leo said handing me a paper sheet with sumthin' drew on it. It was the most incredible thing I've ever seen.

"No way! Ya… ya designed this?" I knew Leo was good at drawing but… he designed the most beautiful bike ever! It was even better than mine!

"When Don and you showed us the shell-cycle the first time… I couldn't stop thinking of design one so… I started with a few sketches and…"

"Since when ya have this?" I couldn't stop seeing the sketch. And… of course… it was all in blue.

"Almost two years" What da shell?

"Why ya never told us? Donnie could've built ya one" Seriously, he could!

"I didn't want Don to do it, Raph" Eh? I'm feeling sumthin'… and it's good.

"Wait a sec, yer sayin'…" Of course I know what he's sayin' but I just wanna be sure.

"Yeah. Can I count with you?" Leo asked.

"Shell, yeah! But… it's gonna take some months to build… maybe like… 4 or 6" Kinda hard to find the pieces.

"I can wait. Now, nobody must know about this, ok?" Leo insisted. I nodded.

"Thanks Raph"

"Anytime"

"Now… if you excuse me, I need to meditate and I need my room" Leo said pushing me out of his "sanctuary"

"Oh, sure. I have some work to do anyway" I said chuckling and leaving Leo alone.

* * *

Whoa! I can't believe it! Leo just asked me to build him a bike! And not any bike… the bike he designed… and it's beautiful! So stylish! Now I understand why he asked me to give'im those lessons! But why now? He wasn't so interested in bikes before. Oh well… I gotta go now; that bike ain't gonna built by itself.


	3. Chapter 3

**22:10 pm**

Movie nights. Always Mikey's idea. It's not that I don't like them but da lil' knucklehead always chooses those horror films that never let him sleep and then he's all jumpy the next morning! Except for somehow… tonight it wasn't Mikey's idea.

It was _Leo's_ idea. Weird.

This afternoon he asked me to build him a bike he designed two years ago and now he's asking us to have… movie night? Leo's acting weirder and weirder and I still don't know why.

* * *

"Everybody ready?" Leo asked.

"Yep, and the popcorns too!" Mikey said happily.

"So, what did ya pick tonight?" Raph asked.

"Not my turn to pick, dude. This is Leo's movie night" Mikey said

"It's ok, Mikey. You can pick the movie" Leo said smirking.

"Ok, so… Zoombieland!" Mikey yelled cheerfully.

"Zoombieland? Mikey, you've seen that movie like a zillion times" Don replied.

"But I like it!" Mikey pouted.

"Ya like it or like to have nightmares again?" Raph teased.

"Don't tease him, Raph. Go on, Mikey" Leo said.

"Woohoo! Let's the movie night… BEGIN!" Mikey said putting the movie on.

* * *

This movie is stupid. I can't stand why Mikey likes it if he knows he's gonna have nightmares! Hmph… now I'm stuck here for two… eh? Who's snoring? Hmm… Mikey… definitely not. Splinter… no. Donnie… nope. Leo… n-_what?_ Leo? _Leo's asleep? _But the movie just started!

...

...

"Leo?" Raph shook Leo slightly.

"Hmm?" Leo blinked.

"Ya need to sleep?" Raph asked.

"No… why?" Leo asked back with a yawn.

"Well, ya were snoring" Raph said.

"Was I?" Leo asked in surprise. He didn't notice when he fall asleep in the first place.

"I know this thing is boring but even Splinter is more awake than you" Raph chuckled.

"I guess… I'm just tired" Leo said rubbing his eyes.

"Yeah, I've noticed that lately" Raph commented.

"Just watch the movie, I'll be fine" Leo said trying to calm his worried brother.

"If you said so…"

...

I don't believe him. I've always trusted him but now… I can _feel_ he's lying. Sumthin' wrong with him… but I need to know what! Maybe tomorrow I'll ask Don for those blood tests.

**

* * *

Next day**

**10:10 am**

"Don, remember I asked ya to analyze Leo's blood?" Raph asked as he entered into Don's lab.

"Raph, I told you. There's no necessity to do that!" Don said in a serious tone.

"But he's acting _weirder_ than usual! Don't tell me ya haven't noticed" Raph replied.

"I know, I know! But that doesn't mean he's gonna die just because he wants to change his routine" Don replied back.

"_Routine?_ Don, he ain't breathing normal, he gets tired frequently… _Heck!_ He _lost_ a sparring match against _Mikey_!" Raph insisted.

"So what? Don't you think that happened because Mikey has been training more lately?" Don said.

"But Leo's almost a master! How could _he_ have lost?" Raph argued.

"Raph, calm down! I told you: Leo is recovering his strength, nothing more. Now, may I continue with my work?" Don said impatiently and returned to his projects.

...

Relax Raph, yer just overreacting! Leo's fine… he's just in recovering phase. He's just in recovering phase. He's just… sleeping again?

...

"That's it!" Raph walked into Don's lab again.

"Yer comin' with me, now!" Raph said grabbing Don's arm, dragging him to the living room.

"Hey!" Don protested. Raph released him when they arrived to the living room where Leo was sleeping in the couch with a book on his hands.

"Tell me if _that…_ is normal on Leo" Raph said pointing at Leo's sleeping form.

"He's just taking a nap, Raph. He told me earlier" Don said sighing in exasperation.

"Leo never takes naps" Raph replied.

"For crying out loud… and you say he's the mother hen" Don said rolling eyes and going back to his lab.

...

...

Stupid me. I'm acting more and more mother like! I must calm down, I must calm down, I must…

"Donnie's right. You're worrying too much" YAY! Not again! Darn ninja big brother!

"Stop scaring me!"

"Hehe… sorry. But still, I agree with Don" Leo said. I couldn't help but blush a little.

"I'm just… worried, Leo. Ya ain't the same"

"I've been feeling a little tired, Raph. But I'll be ok" Leo said trying to calm me.

"Still… wouldn't be so bad if ya… well, if ya take a blood test. Just in case" I suggested.

"Nah! I'll be fine, trust me" I don't why he looks so confident!

"Ok, ok" Maybe it's just my mind.

"Brrr… it's kinda cold here, isn't it?" Leo shivered a little.

"Er… why ya sayin' that?" May I have to remind ya we're in summer and it's **NOT** cold?

"Can't you feel it?" Leo asked with a puzzled face.

"No"

"Oh well… maybe a hot shower could help" Leo said and made his way to the bathroom.

...

Ok, there's no excuse for that. Leo's _sick_. But with him in denial and Don helping, in sort a way, I can't prove it! Maybe I'll have some luck next time. For now… I'll keep watching him.

* * *

It's been two weeks, two darn weeks; Leo still keeps acting weird. Yesterday he told me he was feeling chills and night sweats. He still refuses to take that blood test but now Don is also gettin' worried. Leo's temperature rose up and he's feeling more tired every time he trains. Could be the flu… could be not. Well, better go to da kitchen now before Mikey digs all da pizza.

**

* * *

Later…**

"I'm full" Raph said.

"Same here" Don said.

"If I see another pizza, I guess I'm gonna throw up!" Mikey said rubbing his satisfied belly.

The turtles have had a great meal… all but one, who apparently wasn't very interested on eating that night.

"Leo, you ok? You've barely touched your pizza" Don said.

"I'm not hungry. Anyway… I'll be in my room. Night guys!" Leo said and left the room almost immediately.

"Hmm… someone's on diet, huh?" Mikey said teasingly. Nobody laughed at the comment.

...

...

That wasn't a funny commentary. There's sumthin' _definitely wrong_ with him and it's not just a simple flu.

**

* * *

23: 40 pm**

When I sleep, nothing and no one can wake me up; I sleep like a rock. But tonight, a particular sound made me jump out the hammock. Footsteps, fast ones, goin' downstairs. Like if someone was running. Was there an emergency and nobody told me? No way I'm gonna let the guys have all da fun! If there are some butts to kick, I wanna be da first one who kicks them!

I left my room and ran downstairs. To my surprise, da whole place was dark! No lights, no alarms, no nothing! The guys are all in bed. Tsk… perhaps it was just Klunk.

…

…

Wait a sec… there are weird sounds coming from da bathroom, da only place that has a lil' light. Sounds like someone's throwing up. _Eww!_ Bettercheck if is not _who_ I think it is. I started to walk to the bathroom when a trembling figure got out of that place. I was right; it _was_ Leo.

...

...

"Raph? What are you doing up? It's late" Leo asked clearing his throat.

"Interesting, I was gonna ask ya da same thing" Raph said.

"Well, I had my reasons if you haven't noticed" Leo said making his way to the kitchen. Once he got there, Leo grabbed a glass and got some water. Raph followed him.

"Why ya were throwing up?" Raph asked in concern.

"I guess that pizza made me sick. Anyway… it's all out now" Leo said giving a sip to his water.

"Yeah, it looks like. Shell, yer pale!" Raph exclaimed.

"No biggie. I've had worse. You better go back to bed, Raph. We have training tomorrow first thing in the morning" Leo said and left the kitchen, making his way back to his room.

* * *

Yeah, yeah. There is gonna be sumthin' first thing in da morning, that's fer sure. But it won't be training, big brother. I'm gonna make Leo to take that blood test… even if I have to sedate him first.


	4. Chapter 4

**15:30 pm**

"Don, do ya have a sec?" Raph asked.

"What is it?"

"It's… Leo" Raph said. Don sighed heavily; he knew Raph was going to insist on the blood test and the genius turtle was getting annoyed of the same thing.

"Raph, we've talked about…" Don started but Raph interrupted him.

"I know, but ya must listen to me now" Raph said.

"Ok, I'm listening" Don said crossing arms.

"Last night, Leo was throwing up da whole dinner and he was pale and cold. That can't be a simple flu and ya know it" Raph commented. Don's expression changed almost immediately when he heard that.

"Hmm… weird. He didn't tell me that. Alright, since things are getting weirder than usual… I guess it's time for that blood test" Don said.

...

...

Geez! Da lil genius can be so stubborn sometimes. Well, with Leo and me as his big brothers… Leo and I are stubborn… and sometimes Mikey too, so… I think I can't blame Donnie for being da same way. Well, with da info I gave him about Leo's condition I guess Donnie's more than convinced that Leo needs that blood test. I just hope it ain't too late.

* * *

"You'll just feel a little sting in your arm" Don said preparing the needle.

"I still don't understand why I agreed to do this. There's nothing to worry about!" Leo argued.

"Tell that to Raph. He's been insisting on this for weeks" Don said easing the needle all the way in.

"Since when he started to worry about me with so much anxiety?" Leo asked.

"Don't know but I think he has point" Don said.

"What do you mean?" Leo asked.

"I thought you were only in recovery phase but… it's been two weeks and you don't look the same. I mean: you're pale, throwing up almost every day, you're shivering and Raph told me you're feeling colder than usual" Don explained.

"So?" Leo said

"So? Those are supposed to be flu's symptoms but… for two weeks?" Don replied.

"Hmm… sounds like you're right… again" Leo sighed in defeat. His genius brother was right after all.

"Well, all done. I'll have the results in a couple of weeks; for now, don't try to make any hard moves or extra training and tell Mikey to make something light for you on dinner" Don stated.

* * *

"A couple of weeks, huh?" Raph said while zapping channels.

"Yep, till then I can't do anything. I'll go crazy!" Leo sighed.

"C'mon Leo, some days of rest won't kill ya. Besides, ya can always help me when I go out for yer bike's pieces" Raph said chuckling.

"Speaking of that, how's everything going?" Leo asked.

"I still need more parts; Casey has the engine, wheels, steering wheel and other stuff" Raph said.

"Well, that's a start" Leo said with a long yawn.

"Sleepy?" Raph asked.

"Kinda" Leo said yawning again.

"Then go to bed" Raph said.

"I can't, it's too early" Leo replied.

"Don said ya have to rest" Raph replied back.

"I'm not dying, Raph" Leo said crossing arms.

"Well, ya look like" Raph teased.

"Very funny, Raph" Leo said narrowing eyes.

"Don't make me bring genius to sedate you, bro" Raph teased again.

"Ok, ok. I'll go to bed" Leo sighed in defeat.

"Just don't forget to wake up for dinner" Raph teased him again.

"I know, I know" Leo said and left the place.

* * *

Mmm… dinner time! And smells like… lasagna! I hope is lasagna; Mikey could be a pain in the shell sometimes but gosh! his lasagnas are incredible! Poor Leo, he ain't gonna eat it. Since he started to throw up everythin', Don said he just can eat light things… which don't mean he has stopped throwing up. Yeah, he still does it. Anyway, better go to the kitchen… lasagna is calling me.

...

...

"Ok, so… lasagna for us and… soup for Leo. By the way, where is him?" Mikey asked.

"His room; he was feeling sleepy and he went to take a nap" Heh, one of his 5 naps per day.

"Well, I think he's taking a long, long nap" Mikey said chuckling. Come to think of it… he's right. It's kinda weird Leo's not here yet; Mikey's lasagna could awake the dead.

"I'll go for him. Maybe he's just meditating or sumthin' like that" I hope he is.

"Leo? It's me, Raph. Yer missin' dinner" I said knocking his door. No answer.

"Leo?" I insisted. The door opened slightly; Leo hadn't locked it. Weird.

I peeked inside just to find Leo in a deep slumber. There was no way to wake him up now; he's just like me when sleep time comes, no one and nothing can wake us up so easily. Well, except when there's an emergency call. I closed the door and went back to the kitchen.

"And?" Don asked.

"He's deeply asleep" I said taking my seat.

"Something's definitely wrong with him, dudes" Mikey said worried.

"Well, we won't know anything till the next three weeks. I just hope it's nothing too serious" Don explained.

"Or contagious!" Mikey exclaimed.

* * *

Three weeks. Leo's condition is getting worse by minute and we have to wait three weeks for the darned results? If ya haven't noticed, I ain't a patient person… turtle… turtle-person? Whatever, my point is: I can't (and neither can Leo) wait for those results. He's getting paler, thinner and colder. I hate seeing him like that, it's not… Leo-like, ya know?

Oh! Another thing; last night Mikey had one of his well know nightmares and, guess what… he came to _my_ room. I was like _"uhhh… this is Leo's cue, not mine"_. But then, Mikey told me it was the first night Leo had a decent sleep in a while and he didn't want to ruin it. I _had_ to believe him; Leo hasn't slept very well lately. Sometimes; he just can't sleep at all!

How do I know this? Leo's been goin' out with me looking for his bike's parts and when we take a lil' break, we chat about things and then he tells me about his condition. He can't tell Don 'cause we all know how da lil' genius gets when we got sick or injured. Well, I gotta go find the last parts and I'll be ready to begin!


	5. Chapter 5

One more week and we'll finally know what da shell is goin' on with Leo's health. To my relief, he has stopped throwing up and his temperature seems to be normal but he's still feelin' sleepy and looks a little paler. By the way, the bike's parts are complete. Now I'm ready to build that beauty; Leo's design is better than mine and I can't help but feeling a lil' jealous but anyway… I couldn't expect any different coming from Leo.

Master Splinter said he can train with us again but just till he starts feelin' tired; well, tiredness doesn't seem to stop Fearless when it comes training time. Heh! Definitely Leo. Now he's in the dojo doing some katas but not as perfect as he used to though and that's kinda disappointing for him. We all know he loves perfection but his condition doesn't allow him to move as fast as he used to.

* * *

"If ya keep doin' that kata, yer gonna get tired a lot sooner" Raph sighed.

"I need to improve it. I haven't trained in a while, if you haven't noticed" Leo said.

"Well, that's yer body's fault bro… not mine" Raph chuckled.

"I wish I knew what's happening to me. It's been a month and I still feel awfully tired" Leo said feeling a little frustrated; he hated feeling sick.

"At least yer not throwing up anymore" Raph shrugged.

"Yeah… right" Leo said rolling eyes.

"Whatcha mean?" Raph asked in curiosity.

"Nothing" Leo sighed trying to avoid the topic.

"Leo, ya said: _yeah… right_. Does that mean yer still…?"

"I can't help it" Leo shrugged.

"Does Donnie know?" Raph asked.

"You know how hissy he gets when it comes to health issues" Leo said. Suddenly, he started rubbing his temples trying to numb the sharp pain on that area.

"Headache?" Raph asked.

"Kinda… more like dizziness to be precise. I guess I need some water" Leo said.

"Want me to…?" Raph offered.

"Nah, it's ok. I'll go for it" Leo said and left the dojo.

…

…

Headache, dizziness… that kid is getting worse! Nah! He was ok during his training; maybe I'm just exaggerating... but I can't help but being worr… Wait a sec: me, _worried_? That's supposed to be Leo's line! Shell, if I keep hanging out with him I think I'll become _Leo, the sequel_! I gotta stay away from him for a while.

Ok, that sounded stupid. Just to make it clear: this is the first time in many years that Leo and I are being nice with each other and I'm _not_ planning to ruin that. So what if I'm worried about my brother! It's not _that_ bad… I guess.

...

...

"RAPH, DONNIE!"

That sounded like Mikey. _*sigh*_ What did da numbskull do this time? If he broke another toaster, Donnie's gonna kill him.

* * *

"Mikey, what is…" Don said as he arrived to the kitchen. The body lying unconscious near his orange masked brother made him open his eyes wide.

"Shell…" Don muttered and ran beside his brothers.

"He just came here and grabbed a glass… when I… when I turned around, I just heard the glass breaking and… and… and Leo…" Mikey stuttered nervously.

"Ssh, it's ok Mikey. Help me carry him" Don said lifting carefully Leo's torso while Mikey took his legs. When they were about to leave the kitchen, Raph appeared into the scene.

"What did Mik… Shell! What happened to him?" Raph asked in concern.

"Apparently, he fainted" Don explained making his way to Leo's room with Mikey's help.

* * *

Later that night, Leo woke up feeling dizzy and with a slightly high fever; he didn't remember what happened after he went to the kitchen and how did he end up on his room. The blue masked ninja tried to get up but his legs refused to move; this was frustrating for him, he hated being sick, he hated feeling weak. And to make things worse: he didn't have any idea of what was going on with his body… which frustrated him even more. A knock on his door made him snap of his thoughts.

"Hey Leo, it's Don"

"Come in" Leo said trying to sit up.

"Feeling better?" Don asked sitting beside Leo.

"I'm not sure; I feel feverish again and I can't get up. How much I have to wait for those results?" Leo asked with slight impatience on his voice.

"One week. Hmm… maybe I could send the test to LH so we could have the results sooner but I'm not sure if that's gonna work. I mean, we're talking about a blood test here… those things take some time" Don explained.

"Hey, finally up huh? How ya feeling?" Raph said entering into Leo's room.

"Worse than yesterday and better than tomorrow" Leo answered with a sad smile.

"Raph, could you bring me some cold water and cloths? Leo's running a fever again" Don said.

"Got it" Raph left the room immediately.

"You hungry?" Don asked.

"And what if I am… I'll end up throwing up anyway" Leo said.

"Still, you need to eat something" Don insisted.

"Nah, I'll be fine" Leo gave his genius brother the best smile he could manage to do in that moment.

"Got the cold water and cloths… oh, and Mikey wanted to know if ya were awake; I told him yes and I think he's more relieved now" Raph said giving Don the supplies. The purple masked turtle soaked the cloth and started cooling down Leo's feverish forehead.

"I think you shouldn't train tomorrow, Leo… or at least till I get the results" Don suggested soaking the cloth again. Leo rolled eyes clearly disagreeing with his genius brother.

"Ya ain't gonna die if ya don't train, Fearless" Raph chuckled.

"But guys…" Leo replied.

"But nothing, Leonardo! You're gonna stay here you like it or not!" Don stated in a serious tone. Leo was about to talk again but Don cut him out.

"Don't make me sedate you!" Don said threateningly.

"Ok, ok! Geez, don't need to be extremist!" Leo said. After a few minutes, Don checked his brother's temperature.

"Well, I think you'll be ok for now. If you need something, use your shell-cell and call me… and DON'T try to get up, do it only if it's necessary… got it?" With this, Don left the room. Both Leo and Raph didn't say a word for a while.

"Y'know… Donnie is kinda scary when he's angry" Raph said breaking the silence.

"You're telling me" Leo chuckled.

"So… feeling better now?" Raph asked.

"Kinda… a little dizzy, though" Leo said.

"Want me to stay here? Ya know… if ya need sumthin'…" Raph said hesitantly. It was a little dificult for him to play the caring brother role… and Leo knew that.

"Thanks Raph, but Mikey could tease you if he finds out you're being my nurse" Leo said with a smirk.

"He does that and I'll burn all his comics… and ya know that I'm talking serious!" Raph said taking a seat near Leo's futon.

"Yeah, I know" Leo said feeling his eyes closing.

"K, now try to get some sleep. I'll be here" Raph said.

"You're not gonna sleep?" Leo asked in concern. He didn't want Raph to miss sleep for his fault.

"I never said that. You just sleep and if ya need sumhtin', wake me up, 'k?" Raph said trying to calm his brother.

"Right… night Raph… and thanks again" Leo said closing his eyes.

* * *

**03:20 am**

Leo's the one who's sick and yet he's sleeping like a baby… and what about me? Well, I have one word for that: _insomnia._

Yep, I can't sleep. The good thing is… today is Sunday! Or maybe is tomorrow? Wait, it's 03:20 am so I guess is already Sunday. Anyway, what I'm tryin' to say is: _Sunday = no training!_ Well, that's a relief for Leo. I'll try to keep him away from the dojo and maybe I can convince him to go with me to Casey's place; we're working on the bike already and maybe Leo could help us, at least that's a way to keep him distracted… I hope it works.

All this thinking is taking my sleep away from me! Stupid insomnia. And now I'm hungry! Great, just great… _*sigh*_ oh well, I guess there are still some leftovers in the fridge.

But… what if I leave and Leo wakes up? Nah! He'll be fine.

* * *

**Downstairs**

Heh, weird… I thought genius was already in bed. Lucky him Leo's upstairs deep asleep or else he'd be lectured for one hour straight.

…

"Sorry I made you come at this hour" Don's voice came from the lab.

"It is alright, my friend" another voice answered.

…

LH? What da shell is he doin' here?

…

"It's just… when you told me you had the results already, I couldn't wait!" Don continued.

…

Wait, what? But he said… well, who cares now! Finally we're gonna now what's goin' on with Leo. I better… er… maybe I better wait out here. Thanks heavens Donnie left the lab's door opened… I know it's impolite to listen to others conversations but what if Donnie doesn't want me to know it before the others… before Leo…!

But I can't wait; I've waited enough. Just wish me luck the genius doesn't find out I'm behind the door.

…

…

"So… what's happening to Leo?" Don asked hesitantly.

"I fear I have… very bad news" Leatherhead said in a sad tone.

"What do you mean?" Don asked again.

"Your brother is affected by an illness which is characterized by the excessive build up of relatively mature, but still abnormal, white blood cells. Typically taking months or years to progress, the cells are produced at a much higher rate than normal cells, resulting in many abnormal white blood cells in the blood" Leatherhead explained.

"You're telling me Leo… n-no… it-it can't be! Leo can't… but… that means, he…" Don stuttered. Leatherhead had described the illness so perfect… Don knew what was affecting Leo but it couldn't be possible his brother had _that_ illness.

…

…

For the love of pizza, Don! _Just say it already_! The suspense is _killin'_ me! Well, I didn't understand a shell of what LH said… ok, sure it sounded bad but… it can't be _that_ bad**…**

…

…

"Leonardo has chronic leukemia"

…

…

**… **or maybe I spoke too soon?

* * *

T.T I hate myself now... reviews please?


	6. Chapter 6

Took me a life time for this chapter, huh? ^^´Sorry

Congrats **buck180**... you guessed right ^^ B-day date: April 1st. The only reader that guessed right ^^ Ok, now read and enjoy... and review please.

**

* * *

Monday**

**04:10 am**

I can't believe it. None of us can! Leo has leukemia, chronic leukemia! Don couldn't wait and woke up sensei and Mikey. LH told them what Don and him (and I, in sort a way) already knew. They're all shocked. To make things worse, LH told us Leo can't be cured; he was already in _blast crisis_.

* * *

"But how is that possible? We've just detected the illness" Don said.

"The chronic myeloid leukemia process developed twice faster on Leonardo because of his mutated cells. Besides, this illness is supposed to be human; turtles do not get affected by leukemia. But… Leonardo's DNA and yours as well is mixed with human's DNA" LH explained.

"Ya mean the kid on the pet shop?" Raph asked.

"Precisely" LH answered.

"So, maybe that kid…" Don started.

"We are not sure if the kid had this disorder but the truth is Leonardo does and unfortunately it can not be cured. I'm so sorry" LH said sadly.

"It's ok Leatherhead. We understand" Don sighed. Everybody stayed in silence until Don talked again

"So… who's gonna tell him?" Don asked.

"Does he have to know?" Mikey replied.

"That's a stupid question, Mikey. Of course he has to know!" Raph said angrily.

"Well, excuse me for my stupid question… Oh! So clever Raphael! But it's not that simple to go upstairs, open the door and tell your agonizing brother he's dying and we can't save him!" Mikey yelled.

"Michelangelo, Raphael! Enough!" Splinter interfered.

"This is not the time for an argument, my sons" Splinter said. Raph and Mikey lowered their heads in shame.

"Maybe I could tell him; after all, I promised him I would let him know the results once I got them. We have to wait till he's awake, though" Don said.

"He's already up. Since he got sick, he always wakes up at 4 and he goes to sleep again at 6 am till the afternoon; then he wakes up at 3 pm, goes to sleep two hours later…" Raph commented.

"You can't remember to do the dishes but you can remember all Leo's new schedule?" Mikey teased. The others rolled eyes at the lame joke.

"Well, according to Raph… Leo must be awake. I better tell him now" Don said and made his way upstairs.

* * *

Leo stirred and opened his eyes slowly trying to fight the tiredness he felt. Everything hurt: his eyelids, his breathing… everything. He hated feeling like this and he hoped Don would tell him what was happening with him and if there was a way to cure him. His bedroom's door opened revealing a half-sad, half-pretending nothing-happened Donatello.

"Hey Don" Leo said hating how weak his voice sounding.

"Hey Leo, how are you feeling?" Don asked sitting beside Leo.

"Tired, sore, sleepy… nothing unusual, I guess" Leo said smirking slightly.

"Mmm… that's… nice" Don said avoiding his brother's gaze.

He wasn't so sure how was he gonna tell Leo the bad news and that made the genius turtle felt nervous. Leo sensed something wasn't right with Don, the vibe around him was tense and he noticed Don's hands shaking slightly.

"Donnie, what's wrong?" Leo asked worried.

"N-nothing. I'm… I just…" Don said still avoiding Leo's eyes.

"Is there a problem?" Leo asked. Don's silence was the answer Leo needed.

"What is it?" Leo insisted.

"I don't know… how to tell you" Don said sadly.

"Take your time. I'm not going anywhere" Leo chuckled.

"It's… about your blood test. I got the results" Don said with a deep sigh.

"And?" Leo asked in curiosity as he tried to sit up. He finally was going to hear what he needed to know after all those months of suspense. Don remained in silence.

"C'mon Don. It can't be so bad" Leo encouraged his brother.

"It _is_ bad" Don said meeting his brother's gaze. Leo couldn't help but feeling a little scared.

"Really bad" Don continued now lowering his head.

"Leo, you…" Don started, his breathing speeding up. He took a deep breath.

"C'mon bro, tell me" Leo said placing his hand on Don's trembling one.

"You have… chronic leukemia" Don said, his voice low… but just necessary loud enough for Leo to hear it.

"That's… cancer, right?" Leo said trying to stay calm despite of the terrible news.

"Blood cancer to be precise" Don said.

"And you can't do anything?" Leo asked knowing it was a ridiculous question… but he still held some hope.

"I'm sorry… the disease developed twice faster and LH said you're in blast crisis already. We… we can't… I'm…" Don said nervously.

"It's ok. I understand" Leo said calmly hoping that would also calm down Don.

"I'm so sorry" Don sighed.

"Don't need to. At least I know what's going on with me; thanks for telling me, Don" Leo said with a smirk.

Don left the room immediately without looking back at his brother. He felt so bad and guilty; he was supposed to be the genius, he was supposed to find a cure like he always did. But there was nothing he could do now… yet, he couldn't stop blaming himself.

* * *

Seems like Donnie-boy is out of Leo's room. I hope Leo is ok.

…

…

Ok, that was stupid. I mean, _who_ in the world would be _ok_ if one day wakes up and is told he has _cancer_… and is gonna _die_? Oh well, I guess I'll only ask Don how went things with Leo.

"Sup? Did ya tell him?"

"Yeah" Don answered. Uh-oh… I don't like the tone of his voice.

"And?" I had to insist.

"Apparently… he… he was calmed when I told him" Don said.

"And what about you?" I can sense Don's nervousness on his voice… he's gonna collapse.

"I-I don't wanna talk about that. Not now" Don said letting out a sigh.

"Donnie... This is not yer fault, bro" And I mean it, it's _not_.

"How do you…" Don started.

"You and Leo have so many things in common and one of them is taking the blame for sumthin' that can't be helped"

I swear that's one of the things that make me say Leo and Don could be blood brothers… they're like twins on the blame thingy. I blame myself this, I blame myself that… I… hey… where did Donnie go?

"Of course it could be helped!" I heard him yelling from the kitchen. When I arrived, Don's face was resting on his hands… like he wanted to cry or sumthin'… I don't blame him. He's the most sensible here.

"If I had taken that blood test when you told me…" Don started.

"Don, listen to me! Even if ya'd taken it when I told ya… there was nothing ya could've done anyway! LH told ya the disease was developing twice faster on Leo" I said using all the patience I had.

"It's just… it's…"

"I know it's hard, Donnie… but we can't do anything. Stop feeling guilty… ya don't deserve to feel like that!"

"It's not fair, Raph. Why him?" That was the last him I heard from him before he collapsed on tears.

What could I say now? We're all shocked, scared and sad… but this is harder for Donnie. He and Leo are very close to each other; they know each other very well; Leo is Don's inspiration… maybe his hero… in sort a way. And… he can't save him. Donnie can't save his hero. If he can't do it… then nobody can. I can't imagine what would it be when… when Leo… well, y'know… when his time comes. _*sigh*_ I better let Donnie alone. I'll talk to him later.


	7. Chapter 7

Update on my B-DAY ^^ YAY!

* * *

Our friends were shocked with news… not only April and Casey but everyone that met Leo; y'know: Angel, Usagi, the Daimyo and his son… even Karai!

* * *

"_I am truly sorry for this, Hamato Splinter. A warrior like him did not deserve such a horrible end" Karai said through the webcam on Don's computer… sadness present on her voice._

"_I wish there was something I could do, but Donatello told me about the blast crisis" Dr. Chaplin sighed._

"_I appreciate your concern. But there is nothing that can be done now" Splinter said sadly._

* * *

Ya see? Even Chaplin wanted to help! I still don't know how Karai and Chaplin knew about this and I really don't care at this point. The intention was good, though… considering that Karai almost killed Leo more than once back when Shredder was alive and Chaplin also worked for him… but that's in the past.

* * *

It's been a month now… Leo's getting worse. He's still trying to be strong… mostly for Donnie. But… he's not the same Leo anymore. He stays in his room and only moves for the natures' call… with my help. Yeh, I became his "unofficial nurse". Donnie can't handle be near to him without feeling guilty; he only checks his vital signs. Leo's in so much pain… he barely sleeps now and if he does, he really doesn't get much sleep because of the pain. We thought Leo was gonna be ok with the pain killers Don was giving him but one night I discovered we were way wrong.

"_I'm gonna check if Leo's asleep" Raph said leaving the kitchen and going upstairs. As he approached to his brother's room, Raph could hear whimpering sounds and muffled cries. _

"_Leo?" Raph opened the door just to face with the image of his brother crying and moving his head from side to side, his eyes clenched shut. _

"_Shell… Donnie! I need ya here now!" Raph yelled before running to Leo's side. _

"_Leo, what happen? What's wrong?" Raph asked in concern._

"_H-hurts… hurts… a lot!" Leo whimpered._

"_Where?" Raph insisted. Just a second later Don came into the room with some medical supplies._

"_Raph, what is it?" Don asked._

"_I don't know! He just said: "hurts a lot" but he didn't tell me where!" Raph said. Don was already preparing a needle; apparently he was used to this situation._

"_I need you to grab his arm. This is gonna be quick" Don ordered. Raph complied immediately._

"_R-raph…" Leo managed to say… still crying and moaning for the pain._

"_Ssh, it's ok. Don's gonna give ya sumthin' and ya'll be ok" Raph soothed his blue masked brother. Don quickly found a blood vessel and the needle went in._

* * *

I swear I'd never been so scared in my whole life. I thought Leo was dy… er… ok ok… I better not say it. But shell! He was in so much pain! I remember that night Leo held my hand so hard that I thought he was gonna break it! And… he was… crying! Like a little child! He looked so… vulnerable, broken… scared… in pain. Luckily he fell asleep just after that medicine Don gave to him. He told me he was used to those breakthrough pain episodes but that… was the worse one, so he had to give him a stronger pain killer this time.

Leo really doesn't deserve this. I know he's a warrior, a fighter… but he's still a teenager! God, he has done nothing wrong in his life, why Ya make him feel so much pain? Why Ya hafta be so cruel… so…

"Raph?" Eek! Shell, not again! Even in his sickness, he still manages to gimme a heart attack.

"Leo? Whatcha doin' up? Ya should be resting, bro"

"You were talking and…" Darn! I shouldn't think out loud.

"Oh, er… sorry for waking ya up. Ya hungry?"

"A little" That's kinda good to know. Normally, Leo's never hungry in the morning.

"Good. I'll bring ya sumthin"

"Raph?" Leo called just when I was about to leave.

"Hmm?"

"If there's someone who hasn't had to be blamed for this… that's God, bro" _The shell?_ How did know about… unless…

"Ya were listening?"

"You have to learn to keep your thoughts in your mind if you don't want me to know, Raph" Leo chuckled. Har-di-har Fearless. Aww shell, now I feel stupid.

"Raph, God's not cruel… or unfair"

"Well, I think He is… why does He have to let ya suffer so much?" Really, why?

"The disease is making me suffer, Raph. Not God" Leo seems so calmed when he talks. Does he really know he's dying? Or he's just pretending to be strong again?

"I know the pain is unbearable sometimes but… hey!... I've had worse" Leo said smirking. I'm not agree with that… but this is not the time for an argument. I have to leave before he keeps talking… and I'll end up exploding.

"I better go for yer breakfast, Leo" I said and left the room as fast as I could. I disagree with Leo. Call me atheist, misbeliever or whatevah ya want; but this _so called God_… is being a lot unfair with my brother.

* * *

Well, I got Leo sumthin' light to eat so he doesn't throw up. I had to help him a little though he said he was ok and he didn't need to be feeded. I know he must be feelin' really stupid and useless. I better say sumthin' to cheer him up.

"Er… Casey and I are working a lot in yer bike, y'know?" I started.

"Really? That's nice!" Whew! Finally a smile… typical Leo-smile.

"Yep, I think it'll be done for the next month. I still need to adjust some things and choose the right color, run some tests… yada yada yada…" yada yada. Hehe.

"It was the same when you built your bike?" Leo asked in curiosity.

"Uh-huh, but with more problems. I had to hide it from sensei… and Don" _That_ was hard work, really.

"Nngh…!" Uh-oh. Leo just winced. I hope it's not one of his breakthrough pain episodes.

"Leo? Ya ok? Ya in pain again?"

"I-it's ok… it's going away" Leo said calming a little. Whew! Close call.

"I think I'll take a nap" Leo said letting out a yawn.

"Yeh, ya should. I'm gonna do the dishes but I'll be back here if ya need sumthin', k?" I said getting up and ready to leave.

"Raph…" Leo called again.

"Sup?"

"Nothing… I just… I wanted to tell you it's nice we're spending more time together… well, in sort way" Leo chuckled. He fell asleep just after that, he was really tired.

* * *

_I wanted to tell you it's nice we're spending more time together… in sort way._ The irony. Oh, the irony. I certainly wanted to spend more time with him… but this wasn't exactly the way I wanted to do it. I wanted to be with the Leonardo I knew… not with the dying one lying on the bed. If this is my punishment for have been such a jerk with him… then I think I deserve it.

Anyway… I better start doing the dishes.


	8. Chapter 8

**Garage**

**09:45 pm**

"So, how's Leo?" Casey asked while he worked on the bike's engine.

"His pain episodes are getting worse, ya should've seen him" Raph said.

"Well, I don't know if I'd wanted to see him like that. Must be pretty hard for you guys, huh?" Casey asked cleaning the grease of his hands.

"Donnie is the most affected. Mikey tries to cheer everybody up, keep going as if nothing had happened and sensei is helping Leo with his meditation" Raph continued.

"What about you?" Casey asked taking a seat near Raph.

"I'm ok… I guess" Raph shrugged.

"You guess?" Casey insisted.

"I ain't in the mood for talking, Case. Let's end this thing so I can go back to the lair" Raph said getting annoyed by the endless questions. He really didn't want to talk about Leo's condition now.

"Hey, eh… Raph… why don't you take a lil break and go now? I can handle this. It's not like I haven't built a bike before, y'know?"Casey said.

"Yeh, right… look Casey, I… I'm sorry for being all moody" Raph apologized.

"It's ok. You have your reasons. I'll be here if you need to talk, k?" Casey said patting Raph's shell.

"K… bye"

...

...

I'm feeling kinda bad for Casey. I like to talk and hang out with him but… I really need to be alone now. I wasn't in the mood for talks and bikes as ya could notice. Besides, it's getting late and I don't like Don and Mikey to deal with Leo's pain episodes alone.

* * *

**Lair**

Hmm, weird. The lair is quiet… too quiet. Mikey's not with his video games... Splinter must be at April's and Don with Leo. Better go check.

"Raphael…" Uh oh… Splinter.

...

...

"We have been waiting for you, my son. Come" Splinter ordered as he made his way to the dojo. Raph followed him without a word.

...

The dojo? This is getting weirder and weirder. I didn't do anything lately so… I guess this is not lecturing time. But… did he say: we? Does that mean Don and Mikey… and maybe Leo are there too?

* * *

**Dojo**

Candles, incense, everybody here (yeah, Leo's here too)… they're kneeling and Mikey's quiet? What the shell is going on here?

...

...

"Kneel Raphael" Splinter ordered. Raph did what he was told.

"Now we are all here, we can continue" Splinter said.

"What's this? A ceremony?" Mikey whispered.

"Don't know" Don whispered back.

"Leonardo and I have been talking lately about something I was not so sure to do" Splinter started.

"Raph, we grew up together; we trained together and did so many things together. I have seen your progress and sensei has evolved you into a better ninja that he could have never hoped you would be…" Leo continued.

"Wait a sec… I've heard this talk before" Don said quietly.

"Leonardo's time as your leader ends here. Raphael, I have decided you will be the new leader of the team from now" Splinter announced. Everybody was in shock.

"WHAT?" the three turtles yelled all at once.

"Yer… yer kidding right?" Yer… this is… heh… ok, ok… nice prank, guys. Really, I give ya that" Raph chuckled nervously.

"This is not a prank, Raph" Leo said in a serious tone.

"May I have to remind you I do not make any kind of joke, my son?" Splinter said raising a brow.

"I knew that talk sounded familiar to me!" Don said.

"Yeah, sensei told the same to Leo when he became leader" Mikey replied.

"Ya can't be serious!" Raph said still not believing what it was happening there.

"I am serious, Raphael. As I said, Leonardo and I talked about this and…" Splinter said but a really angry Raph interrupted him

"And ya decided without telling me first? Oh, how wise!" Raph said sarcastically as he got up.

"Raphael! You do not talk to your master in such an unrespectable way!" Splinter said angrily.

"Raph, we all know I'm not gonna be here for so much longer. This team needs someone who guide them" Leo said trying to make some sense into Raph's mind.

"So yer expecting me to do that? Hah! Well I have some news for ya: I ain't yer replacement!" Raph yelled and ran out of the dojo.

"Raph!" Leo called his brother but he got no answer. That meant only one thing: he had left not only the dojo but also the lair.

* * *

I can't believe it! I can't, I can't I can't! I don't accept this! I won't accept this! NEVER! How could he do that to me? Choosing me as his replacement, as the next one in the list… like… like… like some second hand old stuff! Darn ya! Darn ya, Leo! If ya weren't sick I swear I… I… GRRRR!

Sure I wanted to be leader someday but NOT LIKE THIS! Splinter is only doin' this 'cause he knows Leo's dying! I'm gonna be the leader but just 'cause Leo is gonna freakin' DIE! GOD, I HATE HIM! I SO HATE YA RIGHT NOW, LEO! I hate ya, I hate ya… I HATE YA, LEO!

"I know you do" Leo? Oh great! He followed me… nice, very nice.

...

...

"Leave me alone! I warn ya!" Raph yelled angrily.

"I just wanna talk to you about…" Leo started.

"I know what yer gonna say and I don't care anymore! GO AWAY!" Raph said without looking at his brother.

"Raph…" Leo continued.

"Yer not gonna convince me no matter what ya do or say, Leo"

"Could you please let me…" Leo tried to explain his reasons but Raph was too angry for listening.

"Explain? Huh? What ya have to say? How yer gonna explain ya decided to choose me leader without tellin' me first?"

"I'm sorry but…"

"NO, yer NOT sorry! Ya heard what Splinter said! He wasn't sure about this, about me being leader! My own sensei and father doesn't think I'm good enough and he had to wait till the powerful Leonardo died… for making me leader!" Raph yelled finally looking at Leo.

The blue masked ninja winced at the word "died". He knew he was going to die but he didn't need to be reminded of that.

"Raph, you don't understand this! That's not the reason!" Leo insisted.

"By the way, what da shell are ya doin up? Yer supposed to be in bed!... Oh… I get it… yer showing off ya still have some strength, huh?..." Raph said angrily, now turning around to face the city view instead of his brother.

"Raph, please… please, stop th… nngh!" Leo suddenly felt a sharp pain through his entire body.

"To humiliate me?" Raph continued, not noticing Leo's face contorted in pain.

"R-raph… I… nngah!" Leo tried to move but the pain was increasing making him kneel in the ground.

"To show how weak I am and that's why I wasn't chosen leader before?" Raph growled.

"Nnghaaaahh!" Leo collapsed on the floor in fetal pose, sweat running down his forehead and his face getting paler by the minute.

"Leo!" Raph finally noticed his brother was in pain and ran beside him.

"Leo, what is it? What's wrong?" Raph asked in concern. Leo embraced himself tightly, his face still contorted for the intense pain.

"Shell… don't tell those are one of your pain…" Raph realized what was happening. Leo was having another pain episode… worse than the other ones.

"Hang on, I'll call Donnie" Raph pulled out his shell-cell.

"I… ahh… I can't wait f-for much longer…" Leo managed to say. And it was true, he couldn't wait.

"Don't worry, Leo. I know what to do…" Raph said and dialed Casey's number.

"Hello?" Casey answered.

"Casey, get some morphine and wait for me" Raph said.

"Morphine?" Casey asked in confusion.

"Just do what I say! I'm going to yer place this moment" Raph said and hung up.

* * *

Later that night, Raph appeared at Casey's place with Leo on his arms.

"Whoa! Now I understand why ya wanted morphine! Why ya didn't tell me it was for Leo?" Casey asked as he helped Raph to put Leo in the couch.

"No time to explain, now help me. Grab his arm" Raph said while he prepared the needle.

"This is gonna hurt a little, bro" Raph warned. Though he knew how to prepare the medicine, he wasn't so good at finding blood vessels.

"N-no more than… nhgn!... this… that's for sure" Leo chuckled trying to ignore his pain which was becoming stronger. The needle went in and with it the medicine. Leo fell asleep immediately.

"What now?" Casey asked.

"He needs to rest, just that. Can we stay here tonight?" Raph asked.

"Do ya really have to ask, dude? C'mon! This is your house! Feel free to do whatever ya want!" Casey said in a friendly way.

"Hehe, thanks Casey. Can ya call the others and tell them we're staying here?"

"And you don't do it because?" Casey asked sensing trouble in the air. If Leo had left the lair in his condition was because something bad happened… an argument in most of the cases.

"It's a long story" Raph sighed heavily confirming Casey's thoughts.

"Hmm… I think I understand. Don't worry, I'll tell them" Casey said and dialed Don's number.

* * *

**Minutes later…**

"Raph, I think this is not the time for I talk but… I also think you need to. So, why don't ya tell me what happened?" Casey asked.

"Splinter chose me as leader" Raph said.

"Really? Well, congrats!" Casey said happily.

"But I don't want it" Raph continued.

"Why not?" Casey asked.

"Splinter just chose me because Leo… y'know…" Raph explained.

"Oh, I see. So you feel like a replacement, huh? Raph didn't say a word; Casey took that as a "yes".

"Look Raph, I haven't been with ya guys since you were kids but… I'm sure Splinter doesn't think ya are just a replacement. He raised ya up and trained ya. He knows ya are as good ninja as Leo is!" Casey said.

"Then why he said it was a hard decision?" Raph said with a sigh.

"Bro, Leo is Splinter's eldest son… they are closer to each other and now he is dying! It's hard for parents have to deal with this things; what kind of parent wants to live knowing his or her child is gonna lie 6 feet under! Splinter said it was a hard decision? He has a strong reason for saying that, Raph! He doesn't think of you as a replacement… and certainly Leo and the others don't think like that either" Casey added.

"Whoa, that was deep, Case. Ya've been watching Oprah?" Raph chuckled.

"Har-di-har. I'm talking serious here" Casey said.

"I know, I know. Thanks Casey, really. I think I just overreacted… again. Now… what am I gonna do with him?" Raph said referring to Leo who was deep asleep.

"Let him rest for now and tomorrow ya can tell him yer sorry and all that stuff" Casey suggested.

"Well, I'm dead tired. If ya need something call me, k? Night Raph" Casey waved and went to his room.

"Yeh, night Case" Raph waved and grabbed a chair placing it near Leo. This was going to be a long night.


	9. Chapter 9

**2: 30 am**

I can't believe I made Leo to follow me on his condition. Stupid me. Luckily we were near Casey's or else Leo would be suffering 'cause of his pain episode.

Wait a sec, why I'm blaming myself? It was Leo's decision to leave the lair knowing he was sick, not mine!

However… it was 'cause of me that he left… so, it's kinda my fault after all. Grrr! Now my head hurts!

"You should be sleeping, it's very late" Darn it… Fearless.

…

…

"Same goes for ya. What are ya doin' up?" Raph asked.

"Couldn't sleep" Leo said rubbing his eyes.

"Liar, ya were sleeping like a baby" Raph replied.

"That was the medicine's effect. I don't get any sleep once the effects pass" Leo explained.

"Y'know Donnie's gonna kill ya for leaving the lair in yer conditions, right?" Raph asked raising a brow.

"I had his and sensei's approval. I needed to see if you were ok" Leo said approaching to his brother.

"Does it looks I'm ok?" Raph said sarcastically.

"Certainly no" Leo answered sadly.

"Great. Now go back to sleep or meditate or do sumthin'… just leave me alone" Raph said and walked to the window.

"Raph, we need to talk" Leo said. Raph kept his gaze on the city view.

"Raph, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about, you know…" Leo continued.

"The leadership?" Raph completed Leo's phrase.

"Yeah" Leo sighed.

"Well, apology not accepted" Raph said bitterly.

"I'm not asking you to forgive me but I had my reasons" Leo said sitting on the couch.

"Must be good ones if ya expecting me to believe ya" Raph said without leaving his spot near the window.

"When I was meditating with sensei, I told him about my decision" Leo started.

* * *

_**3 days ago…**_

"_Sensei?" _

"_What is it Leonardo?" Splinter asked handing his son a cup of tea._

"_I was… I've been thinking of… what's gonna happen to the team once I'm… I'm gone. They'll need someone to guide them and I thought…" Leo stopped for a second._

"_What have you thought, my son?" Splinter encouraged his son to continue._

"_I've thought Raph could be the perfect leader" Leo ended his phrase. Splinter almost choked with his tea._

"_What makes you say that?" Splinter asked trying to sound calmed._

"_I've noticed he's been training a lot and he's being more patient now, even with Mikey and his pranks. I know he can be a great leader, sensei. You just need to give him a chance" Leo said._

"_Do you trust him, Leonardo?" Splinter asked._

"_Yes, sensei. With my life I could say" Leo answered with a smile._

"_Very well. You will have to tell him" Splinter said giving a sip to his tea._

"_Master, do you approve my decision?" Leo asked._

"_Yes, my son" Splinter answered._

"_With all due respect, I think you are lying" Leo said placing his tea on the drawer near his bed._

"_Why do you say so?" Splinter asked a little confused._

"_I can see it in your eyes, father. You don't look like you agree with my decision" Leo said sadly staring at his father's eyes._

"_Leonardo, that is a great responsibility. I do not think Raphael is ready for being leader though I believe he would be a great one" Splinter commented._

"_Please, father. I trust him! I know it's gonna be hard; it was hard for me when I became leader but then I learned how to deal with that. I know Raph's determination will help him. Well, that and your advices, of course" Leo said. Splinter thought for a minute in silence before he talked again._

"_Alright. If you are happy with that, then so am I" Splinter said._

"_Really?" Leo asked almost in a cheerful tone._

"_Yes, my son" Splinter smiled._

"_Thanks father! I know Raph won't disappoint you!" Leo said happily giving his sensei a hug._

* * *

"That was 3 days ago" Leo ended.

"And why ya didn't tell me that day?" Raph asked.

"You were in Casey's and I waited till very late at night but in the process another pain episode came and Don had to sedate me so I could sleep. What he didn't knew was how long I was gonna stay asleep. By the time I woke up, it was ceremony time already" Leo explained.

"So that would explain why ya were sleeping for so long. But what about sensei? Why he didn't tell me?" Raph asked now taking a seat beside Leo.

"He wanted me to tell you and I guess after that episode I had, he got worried and… he simply forgot it! His memory is not the same one he had a few years ago, you can't blame him for that" Leo answered.

"What about Donnie and Mikey? Did they know?" Raph insisted.

"No, that's why they were as surprised as you, Raph. No one but Splinter and I knew" Leo said.

"Well, then… I guess I own sensei an apologize… if he still wants me home" Raph said with a sigh.

"Of course he does, Raph! He knew something like that was gonna happen" Leo chuckled.

"What about you? Ya ok?" Raph asked meeting his brother's gaze.

"I'll be only when I hear the words I want to, Raph. And you know which those words are" Leo smiled.

"It's just… I don't feel ready" Raph said lowering his head.

"I know. I felt the same too" Leo sighed.

"Ya sure ya wanna give up yer leadership?" Raph asked.

"I'm not giving up. I'm just placing it in good hands" Leo said placing his hand on Raph's shell. They both stayed in silence for a while.

"Why do ya trust me after all the things I've done?" Raph asked.

"You're my brother, Raph. I'll always trust you no matter what you do, say or think. You're strong, loyal and you're always there for us even if you say you don't care" Leo answered. Raph stayed in silence again. Leo trusted him enough for giving him such a great responsibility… but was Raph ready?

"So, what do you say?" Leo asked.

"Alright. I'll be the leader now" Raph said.

"Thanks Raph" Leo smiled in relief.

"But I don't want any ceremony thingy. Those things are so boring!" Raph smirked.

"Ok, ok. No ceremony, then" Leo laughed. Both brothers were in peace again and now… there was a new leader for the team: Raphael.


	10. Chapter 10

Once we were back to the lair, I apologized with Master Splinter. Luckily he wasn't angry at me and the guys accepted me as their new leader immediately. Whoa! Lucky me.

…

…

"Whoa! Raphie-boy is leader!" Mikey cheered.

"Yep and don't think I'm gonna go easy on you, Mikey. I ain't Leo" Raph chuckled.

"I'm aware of that bro. And certainly… I wouldn't like to have a second Leo. We like you for who you are" Mikey said.

"Hotheaded and impatient?" Raph teased.

"Yeah, yeah. Just like that" Mikey laughed.

"So, how does it feel? You know, being leader" Don asked.

"Weird but nice. In fact, I don't feel any difference" Raph shrugged.

"Raphael, your brother Leonardo wants to see you" Splinter announced once he entered into the living room. Raph left the place and walked upstairs to his brother's room.

"Leo? Ya wanted to see me?" Raph said knocking the door.

"Yeah, please come in" Leo said. Raph opened the door and found Leo with a little brown with golden chest on his lap.

"I wanted to give you something" Leo said. Raph sat beside him looking at the chest in puzzlement. Leo opened it and pulled out a golden medal.

"Wait a sec, that's the medal Splinter gave ya when you…" Raph said recognizing the object.

"When I became leader. Yes, it is. And now it's yours" Leo said handing the medal to Raph.

"Leo, I… I don't know what to say!" Raph said happily and nervous at the same time.

"You deserved it, bro. That will remind you I gave you a big responsibility; the life of the ones you love and care for are in your hands now and I know you'll be better than me" Leo said smiling.

"Not true bro. Ya'll always be our leader… no matter what" Raph said pulling his brother into a hug.

"If you say so" Leo chuckled returning the embrace.

* * *

**A week later…**

Our first patrol night in weeks was a success. I don't wanna show off but I made it _big time_ as leader. But to be sincere, I wouldn't have made it without Leo's advices.

Heh, who would believe a hotheaded like _me _could learn how to be _patient_? I didn't believe it myself at first but sensei says I'm making a great progress.

* * *

**One month and 3 weeks**…

Leo's bike is almost ready… one more week and I'll be ready to show it to him. I can't wait to see his face! I'm just hoping he'll be strong enough to have at least a little ride… well, I'll have to help him if he can't do it. No biggie.

This thing of being leader is kinda nice: extra training, meditation sessions, Splinter gave me some books and some extra lessons… it's gre… gr…

WHO THE SHELL I THINK I'M FOOLING? IT'S _HORRIBLE_! I can't stand this! Ok, I like the extra training but I hate those _boring_ and _long _meditation sessions! And those _boring _old books! Shell!

Anyway, the guys are giving me all their support and Leo gave me some advices too. I guess it was also hard for him. Speaking of Fearless… I'll go to see if he's ok; last night he told me he felt his breathing stopping for a second. Creepy!

* * *

**Leo's room**

Apparently he's ok. Asleep, no sign of pain… or movement. Better check his temperature. Where did Donnie leave the thermometer?

…

…

"Don? Where did you leave Leo's thermometer?" Raph yelled from out of Leo's room.

"Did you look on his drawer?" Don yelled back from the living room.

"K, thanks" Raph said and went back to Leo's room.

"C'mon buddy, ya gotta wake up for a sec. I'm gonna check your temp" Raph said shaking Leo gently.

"Whoa, he's cold!" Raph thought.

He shook Leo insistently without getting any reaction from him. Raph tried not to panic and touched Leo's neck searching for his pulse. His eyes opened wide when he found none.

"No, no, no! Please, Leo! DONNIE! I NEED YA HERE! LEO'S NOT BREATHING!" Raph yelled and started CPR immediately.

"C'mon Leo, c'mon!" Raph muttered as he pressed Leo's chest.

"Raph, stay back!" Donnie yelled and placed the oxygen mask on Leo's face.

"Don, tell me ya can do sumthin'!" Raph looked at his genius brother.

"I'm trying! Keep pressing his chest!" Don ordered. Raph complied.

"Guys! What's happening?" Mikey asked nervously.

"Leo's not breathing!" Don said causing Mikey to gasp in panic.

"Should I call LH?" Mikey suggested.

"Yes, please but quickly!" Don nodded.

"C'mon Leo! Ya gotta breath!" Raph said. Both Don and Raph stayed with Leo, doing CPR and giving him oxygen till he started to cough and recovered conscience again.

"Whew… close call. Very close, I have to say" Don sighed in relief.

"Don't cha ever scare us like that!" Raph yelled.

"Nngh… my…_*cough*_… chest hurts" Leo managed to say.

"Well, I guess Raph pressed it a little too hard" Don smiled nervously.

"I was desperate!" Raph replied.

"LH is in coming. LEO! YOU'RE OK!" Mikey yelled happily and ran to his brother's side tackling him into a hug.

"Hey Mikey" Leo smirked hugging his little brother back.

"I thought you were… you were…" Mikey started sobbing.

"Ssh, don't cry Mikey. You know I'll leave someday" Leo soothed him.

"N-not like that… not like that!" Mikey cried.

"My sons, Leatherhead is here" Splinter entered with Leatherhead beside him.

"What happened? How is Leonardo?" LH asked.

"We could help him breathe again" Don explained.

"I can see that. Donatello, I will need you to help me getting him to your laboratory" LH said. Don and LH moved Leo carefully to Don's lab. The croc asked them to leave him alone with Leo for a while. Minutes later, he came out with the results.

"Well?" Don asked.

"You helped him just in time… but I fear I have very bad news" LH said sadly.

"More of those ones?" Mikey muttered.

"Michelangelo!" Splinter said in a serious tone.

"Leonardo's system is collapsing. He won't resist for much longer" LH explained. The turtles and Splinter were devastated with the news.

"How long?" Splinter asked.

"Probably three or four days" LH said with a sigh.

"Can I see him?" Raph asked.

"Sure. He's sleeping now" LH said opening the lab's door and closing it once Raph was inside. The red masked turtle approached to Leo's sleeping form.

"Hey buddy. It's me, Raph. LH told us… yer body's giving up. Not so good news, huh?" Raph said picking a chair and placing it beside Leo's bed.

"Mikey is crying like shell; Donnie's trying to comfort him but… he's also hurt. We're all hurt seeing you like this" Raph continued. He took one of Leo's hands and squeezed it slightly.

"Please Leo, if ya can hear me… don't give up. Not yet, not now… no ever. I promise ya a bike, remember? I only need one week and it'll be done! So, please, please… fight bro. Yer a fighter, a warrior!" Raph said hoping his brother could hear him.

"Please Leo, please God… I'm only asking you for a week, just a week!" Raph kept talking, his throat hurting and his eyes burning for the repressed tears.

"Just a week… and then… You can take him. Please God… please" Raph muttered. He couldn't hold it for much longer and ended up crying softly; his brother's hand pressed on his cheek.


	11. Chapter 11

**Monday**

LH recommended another environment for… Leo's _last days_. If we wanted to keep him with us for a lil longer, the sewers _weren't_ exactly the place he needed. We decided to take Leo to the farmhouse. Casey and April agreed the moment they knew what was happening to Leo. Donnie secured the lair and LH is comin' with us if sumthin' happens to Leo during the trip.

* * *

**Tuesday**

I really don't wanna think about what LH said about how long Leo's body is gonna resist… I need to focus on his bike. If LH is right (I hope he's not) then Leo doesn't have much time and neither do I. I have to finish that bike before the week comes to its end.

* * *

**Wednesday**

**11:45 pm**

"Casey, have you seen Raph?" April asked.

"Last time I saw him, he was in the barn" Casey said.

"The barn?" April asked in confusion.

"Yep, he's been working on Leo's bike since we arrived here" Casey explained.

"Why you're not with him?" April asked again.

"I offered him some help but he said he could do it alone… and faster" Casey said with a sigh.

"Still worried about Leatherhead's prognosis, huh?" April commented knowing the real reason of Raph's behavior. Casey nodded in agreement.

"I see. Could you please tell him Leo wants to see him?" April said making her way inside the house.

"Sure… April?" Casey called the red haired woman "Did Leo really…" Casey started.

"Well, no… but it's the only way we can make him come here and eat something" April explained.

"I'll see what I can do, babe" Casey said and walked to the barn. Meanwhile, Raph worked on the bike's details. He looked really exhausted.

"Whazzup Raph?" Casey said entering into the barn.

"Hey Case" Raph waved tiredly.

"Looks nice to me" Casey smirked as he looked at the bike.

"It's not finished yet" Raph sighed.

"I know. Y'know… Leo wants to see ya, man" Casey said hoping Raph would believe him.

"Leo? Is sumthin' wrong with him? Does he need sumthin'?" Raph panicked a little.

"Relax, Raph. He just wants ya to go into the house, grab some food and you can go back to work" Casey said smiling. Raph could sense a lie, his extra training made him develop that part of him… and Casey was lying.

"Why I have the feeling yer lying?" Raph said narrowing eyes.

"I'm not!" Casey said as serious as he could.

"Y'know I ain't stupid, right? It's almost midnight and Leo doesn't wakes up till 2 am" Raph said. He remembered Leo's new schedule very well.

"Whoa man! Ya _do_ know your brother!" Casey chuckled but Raph was not amused.

"That's right, now get outta here. I'm busy" Raph said dryly.

"Raph, you're not gonna end this tonight" Casey said.

"I could if ya weren't disturbing me!" Raph replied angrily.

"Ya locked yourself here, ya haven't eaten, ya haven't slept… how the hell are ya gonna end that bike if ya are weak?" Casey yelled.

"Casey, ya know I have a lil lack of patience and yer starting to walk on thin ice here. Get out!" Raph yelled back, his patience running thin.

"Fine! I'll leave! Excuse your family for being worried and concerned about you!" Casey said turning back and walking out of the barn.

"Casey…" Raph stopped him. Casey froze on the barn's door.

"I'm… I'm sorry" Raph said feeling ashamed of his behavior. Casey turned back. He couldn't blame Raph; he knew how his friend was feeling.

"Raph, we're all feeling the same… but if ya really want to finish that bike, you're gonna need some extra strength and help" Casey said in a friendly tone, his anger all gone.

"I know, I know. It's just… I was the one who promised it" Raph shrugged.

"It's been 3 days, y'know? And Leo's still here. In fact, LH said this new environment is improving his immunological system… well, just a little but… that's something" Casey said trying to calm Raph.

"So, you're coming?" Casey asked. Raph nodded and followed his friend.

…

…

Casey's right after all; Leo is a lil recovered but I know that won't be for much longer. Who knows when his body is gonna collapse so I need to be fast; however… I've been in the barn since we arrived and to be honest… I was getting tired.

* * *

**2:10 am**

Man, I really needed to eat, I was starving and I hadn't noticed it! I guess I was too focused on that project and… wait… hehe, now I know how Donnie feels. And now I'm exhausted! Better sleep a little; I have more work to do tomorrow, er… I mean today in a few hours.

But first…

…

…

The red masked turtle walked toward Leo's room, he needed to check if his brother was fine. Raph still remembered the day when Leo stopped breathing and that image haunted him every day and night. He peeked in and found Leo soundly asleep… or at least that's what he thought. Leo had woken up minutes earlier because of another pain episode but everyone was asleep and he didn't want to bother them; plus, he couldn't stand the needles and sedatives anymore. The blue masked turtle noticed Raph's silhouette on his door and tried to muffle his whimpers as much as he could. Leo's face paled when he noticed Raph entering to his room and moving closer to his bed.

"Please, don't come closer" Leo said on the inside. His body was quivering a little but the room was too dark for Raph to notice it. Finally the red masked turtle walked away to Leo's relief.

"Close call" Leo sighed mentally. A sharp pang on his chest made him yelp a little.

"Leo?" Raph turned back.

"Darn it! Stupid body" Leo cursed on his mind.

"Hey buddy, ya awake?" Raph asked sitting beside Leo who tried not to scream for the intense pain he felt.

"Hey… I thought you were asleep" Leo said forcing a smile.

"Couldn't sleep" Raph shrugged.

"Well, you-nngh…!" Leo winced; the pain was too strong to ignore it.

"Ya ok? Need Donnie here?" Raph offered.

"N-no! I'm fine, just…" Leo said trying to sit up. Raph helped him and felt his brother's body shivering.

"Gosh, yer shivering, Leo!" Raph exclaimed.

"It's n-nothing! Go to bed" Leo replied.

"Nothing? Leo, yer having another pain episode! Nothing, my shell. Hang on a sec; I have yer med right here" Raph said looking on the drawer.

"STOP!" Leo yelled and grabbed Raph's hand stopping it.

"No more… no more of those needles… no more" Leo said shaking his head.

"Leo, ya need them" Raph replied.

"I can't stand them anymore… and this stupid pain!" Leo said angrily slumping on the bed and curling up into a ball automatically.

"Leo, don't be stubborn. Ya need the shots, it's for yer own good" Raph explained.

"Yeah, right. The shots only stop my pain for a while and then it comes again and again and again and every time the pain is worse! I can't stand it anymore!" Leo said between whimpers.

"C'mon bro, I'm just trying to…" Raph started.

"Help me? Well, you can help me with something… let me go!" Leo said staring at his brother with glassy eyes.

"What?" Raph said not believing what he was hearing.

"You heard me well, Raphael. Let. Me. Go! Stop this! Stop this pain, this suffering, this nightmare!" Leo yelled and curled up again letting his tears run free.

…

…

I can't believe what I'm hearing. Leo wants to give up his life? To die? Well, the second one is inevitable but the first one? Leo never gives up! He fights till there's nothing that can be done! But now… I guess he's right; this is too much even for him. I understand he's starting to hate needles; his arm has so many marks from them. It's almost like Bishop had captured Leo and shot him with those creepy chemicals. Brrr… just to think of it makes me shiver.

"I just want this to stop, Raph. You don't know how much it hurts!" Oh great, now he's crying.

"Leo, I…"

"Nngh! It's… ahh… it's coming again!" Shell! What can I do now? He doesn't want those needles!

"M-make it stop! AHHH!" If he keeps yelling like that he's gonna wake up everybody!

"Leo, ya need the shot!"

"Ok… but… make it quick!"

Finally, he left me give him his meds. But he's still crying… darn it! I've never seen him so broken… and that hurts. I guess he won't sleep now… but I can fix that.

"Move"

"What?" Leo looked at me in puzzlement.

"I said move" Leo complied still confused. Then I sat beside him letting him rest on my lap.

"Raph, what are you…" Leo was more confused now. Hehe, I don't blame him.

"Remember when we were kids and I couldn't sleep when I was sick?" Leo nodded.

"Ya always stayed with me, though I didn't want to 'cause I was too proud" I continued.

"Raph, you don't need to" Leo sighed.

"True, I don't need to. But I want to" I smirked.

"Ok, but don't blame me if Mikey teases you" Leo chuckled. Well, at least he stopped crying.

"Don't worry, he won't" But if he dares to…

"Thanks Raph, good night" Leo said closing his eyes immediately. The med was making its effects.

* * *

At last, he's asleep. But … _I_ can't sleep now! Shell!

Relax Raph, it's ok. Leo's ok, asleep… but what he said earlier… he really wants to die! I don't know in how much pain he is but it has to be an incredibly unbearable pain to make Leo say such horrible things.

He's snuggling closer. Aww… he looks like a kid again. I guess this is how a big brother feels. It's kinda awkward, though. I'm not the sentimental type and… may I have to remind you I hate hugs? Well, Leo's practically hugging me here!

Oh well, if this calms him…

I'm just glad Mikey's not here… so I can make this…

…

…

The red masked turtle covered Leo with his blanket using his free arm; Leo had taken possession of one of them. Once his blue masked brother was covered, Raph bent down and placed a small soft kiss on his brother's forehead.

"Night, bro" Raph's action made Leo to wake up.

"Did you just…" Leo started.

"Yeh, yeh. Now go back to sleep" Raph said closing his eyes.

"If I remember well, you were against that" Leo chuckled. He remembered how hissy Raph was when he discovered Leo kissed them good night every night until he accepted it… after an argument, of course.

"Keep talking, Fearless and I'll give ya extra doses next time" Raph chuckled, his eyes still closed.

"Hey, needles don't freak me out" Leo replied.

"I don't remember _you_ saying that a few minutes ago" Raph said with a yawn.

"I was talking nonsense, ok? I guess it was just for the pain" Leo explained.

"Would ya shut up already? I'm trying to sleep" Raph mumbled.

"Hehe, ok. Night Raph" Leo chuckled and surrendered to sleep… at last.


	12. Chapter 12

**Thursday**

Finally, after months of hard work… it's done. Leo's bike is done! At last! Shell, I'm _exhausted_, but this… this is worthy.

…

…

"Whoa! Raph, it's perfect! Are you gonna show it to him now?" Casey said as he entered to the barn.

"Not yet. How far we are from the next beach?" Raph asked.

"And you're asking me that because?" Casey asked back in puzzlement.

"Duh! I'm gonna take Leo to a beach for his first ride. I know the sand could be tricky but…" Raph said.

"Why a beach?" Casey asked again still confused.

"Don't know. Just thought of it" Raph shrugged.

"The closest ocean beach to Northampton is Carson Beach in Dorchester… that's 109 miles east, just outside Boston. But it'll take a while to arrive there" Casey said. "Well, we're gonna have to move at 2 or maybe 3 am. Y'know… people" Raph commented. "Oh, I got it. Want me to help you?" Casey offered.

"Hmmm… ya could wait in the car while I get Leo. Just one more thing, don't tell anyone about this" Raph said.

"Don't worry" Casey laughed.

"I'm serious Casey, don't tell anyone or I'll _seriously_ kick yer butt!" Raph said in a serious tone.

"Ok, ok! Geez… chill out, dude!" Casey chuckled and left the place.

…

…

I know that was exaggerated but, y'know… gotta take cautions. Casey can be as gossipy as a teenage girl. Hehe, he'd kill me if he knows I said that. Well, I hope Leo likes his bike or at least I hope he'll be able to ride it.

…

…

"Hey, Raph. Whoa! Nice bike!" Don suddenly appeared into the scene.

"It's Leo's" Raph said.

"Ok, but… how do you expecting him to ride it?" Don asked.

"I'll help him if he can't do it. Ya look worried, whazzup Donnie?" Raph asked noticing Don's face.

"I didn't want to tell the others about this but…" Don started.

"What is it?" Raph asked in curiosity.

"Leo's been coughing out a lot lately. With the change of weather I'm afraid of his immunological system; his defenses are getting weaker day by day. Everything, _even_ a simple cold could be risky" Don explained.

"So… what if… I don't know… what if he goes out at dawn?" Raph asked, nervousness clearly noticed on his voice.

"The wind is _freezing cold _at that time! He could easily get pneumonia or something like that. By the way, what was that question for?" Don asked sensing something was a little suspicious there.

"Er… nothing! Nothing, just… curiosity" Raph said trying to stay clamed. Without anything more to say, Don left Raph alone with the bike.

…

…

This is bad, really bad. I want Leo to enjoy this at least just for a lil moment, but what if that puts him in danger? I don't want him to get sicker than he already is just because of a ride. On the other hand, this could be Leo's only and unique opportunity of having his own bike and riding it! I really don't know what to do. I promised him the bike… that means he has to ride it at least once!

Alright, don't care what Donnie says. I'm taking Leo and his bike to that beach… tonight. I mean, at dawn… well, it's dark at dawn so it looks like is still evening so… oh whatevah! Ya got the point already, don't cha?

* * *

**1:30 am**

"Leo, ya awake?" Raph shook his brother gently.

"Mmm? Hey Raph… need something?" Leo said in a sleepy voice.

"Yep: You. C'mon, we're leaving" Raph said helping Leo to get up.

"Leaving? Why, where?" Leo asked confused.

"It's a surprise. C'mon, Casey's waiting" Raph replied. Leo nodded and followed his brother without a word; he was too tired to argue.

Both turtles made their way to the battleshell as stealthy as they could. If somebody discovered them, they were dead meat… especially Raph and Casey; they'd been acting really suspicious the morning and Don had been keeping an eye on them the whole day. The car was ready with the bike on the inside waiting for its owner, but Raph was going to wait until they were on the beach to show it to Leo. With Casey's help, Raph took Leo to the front side; he handed his blue masked brother some blankets just in case.

"It's ok if I continue sleeping here? My eyes are closing" Leo said.

"Yeah, it's ok. But ya'll have to wake up soon" Raph chuckled.

Hours later, they were finally on Carson Beach. The place was empty. Perfect. Still, the weather was being a problem; the wind was colder and Leo hadn't stopped coughing the whole trip.

"Hey buddy, rise 'n shine!" Raph said shaking Leo trying to wake him up.

"This place is freezing cold! It's the North Pole or what?" Leo said rubbing his eyes, still feeling sleepy.

"In yer dreams, maybe. I wanna show ya sumthin'; now get up and close yer eyes" Raph said.

"I _haven't_ opened them yet" Leo chuckled. Casey placed the bike in the sand while Raph took Leo to the place where his bike was.

"Now ya can see" Leo slowly opened his eyes. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. In front of him… there was his bike.

"Whoa! This is… this is my bike! Raph, you did it!" Leo said in awe.

"Ya like it?" Raph asked.

"Like it? I _love_ it! It's amazing!" Leo laughed as he climbed on his brand new bike. The sound of the waves in the background made him come back to earth.

"Wait a sec… we're on a beach?" Leo asked looking at his surroundings.

"Uh-huh, the perfect place for yer first ride" Raph smiled.

"Well, let's see how fast this baby can go" Leo started engines and began to ride.

The feeling of flying in perfect harmony, total freedom and total fulfillment was with him; he felt in heaven. Leo felt consumed by this new feeling and happily lost in that place of wild winds and peace. Now he could almost understand why Raph loved bikes so much. Raph was happy of seeing his brother enjoying this, feeling so free and relieved. This was much better than see him on the bed agonizing. Half an hour later, Leo went back to the battleshell

"That was incredible! I didn't know ya were so good at this" Raph smirked.

"Well, seems like you're not the only one who knows how to ride a bike like a pro" Leo said mockingly.

"Hehe, ya think yer a pro huh? Still bein' smug, Fearless" Raph poked Leo's arm laughing. Both brothers walked back to the car; during the trip, Leo coughed more violently.

"Ya ok?" Raph asked concerned.

"Mmhmm, just a cough" Leo said clearing his throat.

* * *

**Farm house**

**8:10 am**

"Leo, ya have to keep this I secret, k? I don't want Donnie chasing me" Raph chuckled helping Leo to lie down on his bed again.

"Ok. Thanks again, Raph"" Leo smirked.

"Yer more than welcome. Now try to go back to sleep" Raph said covering Leo with a blanket.

"That won't be a problem" Leo laughed and closed his eyes immediately. Raph had just closed his brother's room's door when a shadow appeared behind him.

"Did you have fun, Raph?" the genius turtle said in a very serious tone. Raph almost jumped back in shock.

"D-Donnie, hey! Er… whatcha doin up?" Raph said nervously.

"I was going to ask you the same. Anyway, I woke up early because I was supposed to check Leo's signs. I went to his room and want me to tell you _what_ did I find there?" Don started. Raph was speechless but he felt things were about to get ugly.

"An empty, cold bed; the shell cell on his drawer and… no battleshell either. Not even a _note_" Don continued.

"Donnie I… I can explain" Raph stuttered.

"No, you can't! Maybe you don't care about Leo's health but _I_ do!" Don said angrily.

"What are ya talking about? I care about him as much as you do!" Raph replied.

"Oh really? Then why you took Leo to a cold beach knowing how weak he is?" Don said almost yelling.

"How did ya know?" Raph asked in shock. How his brother knew?

"I tracked your shell cell. I can't believe you did that to him! He's dying, Raphael! But then again how would _you_ notice something like that, you only care about _you _and your _stupid bike_!" Don yelled. With all the noise, Mikey woke up and peeked out of his room to see what was happening.

"Watch yer words, brainiac!" Raph growled. He had tried to be patient but his brother was starting to get on his nerves.

"Oh, I'm _scared_!" Don rolled eyes and walked away.

"Where do ya think yer goin'?" Raph said angrily, Don just ignored him. Mikey wanted to go there and stop everything but he thought that would just make things worse.

"Don! Donatello, come back here! It's an order!" Raph yelled.

He felt strange calling his genius brother by his full name but he knew that worked when Leo did it. Don froze. Raph thought he had succeeded but he was way wrong. Don starting chuckling, then laughing… a creepy and scary laugh… almost evil.

"If you think that's gonna work on me, you're wrong! You may be my brother… but you'll _never_ be my leader!" Don hissed and went downstairs. Mikey gasped and locked himself back in his room; he couldn't believe Don had just said that.

…

…

I would have preferred a stab, a kick or a punch in the face instead of that. Now I know how Leo felt every time I said the same words to him. _Hurts_… a lot. Just imagine how he is gonna be once Leo is gone. Man… I wish I was the one dying; they'd be fine without me. Especially Donnie.


	13. Chapter 13

**Saturday**

**11:35 am**

Don had his breakfast before the rest of the family and refused to leave his room. Raph explained why Don was acting like that and told everyone about Leo's bike and the secret trip they made. Splinter took it pretty good; he knew Raph had a point: that was Leo's only chance to do something he hadn't been able to his whole life.

On the other hand, his actions could have repercussions. Leo's coughs were longer and much more painful. With each cough, Don hated Raph a little more; despite of all the warnings he had dared to put Leo's life in jeopardy.

Later in the afternoon, a soft knock on Leo's door woke him up.

"Leo? You awake?" Mikey called.

"Yeah, what is it Mike?" Leo asked yawning.

"I need to talk to you. It's… Donnie" Mikey said nervously closing the door behind him.

"Is he ok?" Leo asked worried. Mikey sat beside him trying to choose the right words.

"He and Raph had a pretty bad argument yesterday. Well… it was like seeing you and Raph arguing but Donnie was Raph!" Mikey commented. Leo stared at him feeling confused.

"O…k. Now I'm dizzy" Leo chuckled. Mikey took a deep breath and continued.

"Donnie said Raph was not gonna be his leader. I've heard that before and it was Raph who said it to you! Don is not the same, Leo. Just imagine what's gonna happen once you're…" Mikey's voice was breaking a little at the last phrase. Leo pulled his little brother into a comforting hug hoping that would calm him.

"Ssh, it's ok Mikey. Where's Donnie now?" Leo asked.

"His room. He locked himself in just after the argument. I tried to talk to him but… he told me to go away" Mikey said sadly letting some tears to come out.

"That doesn't sound like Donnie" Leo exclaimed.

"Donnie is my best friend and now… he's changed! He's serious, moody… he's almost like Raph! Well, the old Raph… and I don't want that!" Mikey sobbed.

Leo didn't expect this; while Raph changed in a good way, Don was changing too… but in a bad way. Leo had to stop this once and for all; he couldn't leave in peace knowing his family was beginning to fall apart. He may was not the leader anymore, but he was still being the eldest; Don would have to listen to him.

"I'll be back in a sec, Mikey" Leo said getting up.

"You can't leave the bed, Leo! Donnie…" Mikey started.

"…is being immature if you ask me. He'll have to listen to me even if he doesn't want" Leo replied.

"You're supposed to stay here, Leo and… I don't wanna make Donnie angrier" Mikey said sheepishly.

"You won't make him angry, Mikey… because you're coming with me" Leo said.

"You think it'll be ok?" Mikey asked a little nervous.

"Mike, you're afraid of Donnie… _Donnie_! I'll be ok if it was Raph but _Donnie_? Tsk… c'mon" Leo chuckled.

* * *

Meanwhile, on the porch…

"I can't believe _he _said that!" April exclaimed.

"Now that would explain why he hasn't left his room. But haven't you tried to talk to him?" Casey asked.

"There's no use, he won't listen. Now I think I understand Leo" Raph sighed.

"Maybe you should wait until he calms down. It's not like he's gonna hate you… is it?" Casey said.

"Thanks a lot Case… ya _really _cheered me up" Raph said sarcastically.

"Well, if you don't talk to him, I'll do it. The bike was Leo's wish after all! And about the leader thing… well, he must understand you're doing to best you can" April commented.

"Guys, nothing personal but I'd be more than grateful if ya don't interfere on this" Raph said.

"But Raph…" April insisted.

"I'm talking serious. I really appreciate your help but… I guess he's right. I'll never be the leader Leo was" Raph said sadly and made his way to the barn.

* * *

Back to the house, Leo had knocked the door insistently but Don didn't answer it.

"Mikey I told you, I'm not in the mood. Leave me alone" Don said in a serious tone.

"Raph, your voice sounds different, don't you think?" Leo teased hoping Don would recognize whose voice was and that would make him open the door. Don jumped out of the bed and immediately opened the door.

"What are you doing up? You're supposed to…" Don started.

"You and I must talk" Leo interrupted him.

"I have nothing to talk about. I'm also angry at you; you know about your condition and yet you let Raph drag you to a ride in a cold beach!" Don replied angrily.

"First of all: calm down. Second: Raph didn't drag me, I wanted to go; I asked him that for months" Leo said.

"I don't care! You're sick, Leo! Raph knew about your actual condition. He's supposed to be the leader and he almost put your life in danger! Some leader he is" Don said crossing arms and turning around facing the wall.

"I won't tolerate this behavior of yours!" Leo said angrily. He tried to reach Don's shoulder so he could make him face Leo but his legs were too weak and started to stumble, almost fainting.

"Leo!" Mikey grabbed Leo allowing him to lean on him. Don noticed this and went into his doctor mood again.

"C'mon, we gotta take him to his room" Don said helping Mikey. Both turtles placed the half conscious Leo on his bed. Raph was going upstairs when he saw his brothers leaving the eldest's room.

"What happened to him now?" Raph asked.

"_You_ are the less indicated for making questions. You caused _this_!" Don said angrily.

"_Me_? How many times I have to tell you… Leo wanted to go!" Raph replied.

"Since when you care so much about Leo, huh? If I remember well, you _always_ wanted him dead! You _hated_ him!" Don yelled.

"I _never_ hated him! I just say things without thinking and ya know it!" Raph yelled back. Don focused his attention on Mikey now.

"Mike, I told you Leo couldn't leave the bed. Why didn't you stop him?" Don asked, anger clearly noticed on his voice.

"I tried, Donnie… but he insisted! I'm sorry" Mikey said nervously.

"That's not an excuse!" Don said giving Mikey an angry glare; this made Mikey shiver a little. He hadn't felt _this _afraid before.

"Hey! He said he was sorry, Don; it wasn't his fault!" Raph interfered.

"He can defend himself, Raphael. He's not a child!" Don replied huskily.

"Donnie, please. Stop this!" Mikey said placing a hand on his brother's shoulder.

"Stay out of this, Michelangelo!" Don growled tossing the hand away. That was the drop that spilled the cup; Mikey stared at Don with glassy eyes. It took Don just a second to notice what he had done.

"Mikey, I… I'm…" Don tried to apologize but it was late now. Mikey ran to Leo's room and slammed the door behind him. Leo woke up at the sudden sound; he didn't have time to incorporate because Mikey was already hugging him and crying.

"Mikey? Why are you crying?" Leo managed to say.

"I can't stand this anymore. It's too much! I can't stand the yells, the arguments… everything!" Mikey sobbed. Leo rubbed his brother's shell trying to comfort him. Meanwhile, Don had followed Mikey to Leo's room but froze when he was about to open the door. The reason? His baby brother's words.

"Don used to cheer me up on situations like this before. Now he yells at me and treats me like if I was a piece of junk! I don't recognize him, Leo. I need_ my_ brother back!" Mikey cried fiercely.

"He just needs time, Mikey" Leo soothed him.

"Leo, don't you see once you're gone we'll lost Donnie _forever_? He's different! He _scares_ me!" Mikey replied.

"Ssh… easy Mikey. I'll try to talk to him again later, ok?" Leo said hugging Mikey tightly. Don was speechless; he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"He's afraid of… me?" Don said still in shock.

"He's afraid of the _new_ you, Donnie" Raph said joining his genius brother.

"What have I done, Raph… what kind of brother I am?" Don said with a sigh.

"Hey, don't be so hard on you. Yer just worried about Leo; but yer also overreacting a lil bit" Raph said calmly.

"That doesn't excuse my behavior lately. What am I gonna do now?" Don said sadly.

"Maybe a sincere _"I'm sorry"_ could be a nice start" Raph chuckled.

"Well then… I'm sorry Raph; yesterday I said stupid things that I regret so much now and… well…" Don said.

"It's ok. But yer right; no one's gonna replace Leo… never. I know I can't be the leader he was but I can try… for you guys" Raph said with a smirk.

"Thanks Raph, really" Don smiled a little.

"That's the Donnie we all know and love, Mikey" A new voice appeared in the scene.

"Hey! How many times I have to tell ya, Fearless: PUT YERSELF A BELL!" Raph exclaimed.

"Mikey, I…" Don started.

"No need to apologize, Donnie; just… don't go all Raph: _The Second _again. You're really scary when you're angry" Mikey chuckled, his eyes a little red and watery.

"Yeah, I guess Raph was right. I overreacted. Now, Leo…" Don said.

"I know, I know… go back to bed" Leo rolled eyes.

"It's not that. I just wanted to tell you… you made a good choice. I know Raph will be a great leader" Don said smiling.

"I hope so… because if he ruins my job I'll haunt him forever" Leo teased.

"Um… Leo? Can we just not talk about… you know… death?" Mikey asked sheepishly.

"What's wrong with death?" Leo chuckled making his way to the bed; his body was weaker than usual and he couldn't stay up for much longer.

"Ya have to ask?" Raph said raising a brow following Leo and helping him with the blankets.

"Guys, we knew one of us was going to leave sooner or later" Leo commented.

"Yeah, but… that was supposed to be on the battlefield, y'know? Fighting like always" Raph said sitting beside Leo; the others did the same.

"And then you'd be trying to avenge me for the rest of your life! You'd have to live with that pain and hate in your souls forever? I'll tell you, guys… I prefer to leave like this rather than in the enemy's hands. That way you wouldn't have to kill just for a stupid revenge" Leo said.

"Still, it's a little unfair" Don sighed.

"I know but, it can't be helped" Leo shrugged. All stayed in silence for a while.

"Ya know what scares me the most?" Raph said breaking the silence. The others focused on him after what he had said; Raph was scared?

"What is it?" Leo asked in curiosity.

"That you leave us… without at least saying good bye" Raph answered sadly.

"Don't worry, Raph. I won't leave until I say bye, ok? It's a promise" Leo smiled. The others nodded and after a few minutes, they went back to their activities. Leo felt more relieved; his brothers were ok and together. He could leave now.


	14. Chapter 14

**Raph's POV**

Hmm… 1:45 am… maybe I'll go check Leo again. Y'know, in case he needs sumthin.

…

_The red masked ninja approached to his brother's room but stopped in front of the door._

…

But what if he's sleeping and I interrupt him? Well, it's almost 2:00 so… he must be awake by now.

…

_Raph grabbed the door's handle._

…

But what if I'm wrong and he's still sleeping?

…

_Raph stopped. Then he grabbed the handle again._

…

Ok, Raph. Just go inside, check if he's ok and then ya go back to yer room.

"Are you gonna come in or you prefer staying there for the rest of the night?" Darn it, Fearless!

…

* * *

"How did ya know it was me?" Raph asked opening the door.

"Raph, you've been doing this since we came here" Leo chuckled.

"Really? I… I didn't notice it" Raph said sheepishly.

"You ok?" Leo asked noticing concern on Raph's face.

"Just couldn't sleep, that's all" Raph sighed taking a sit near Leo's bed

"Are Donnie and Mikey in bed?" Leo asked.

"I suppose" Raph shrugged. Suddenly, the door opened again revealing Don.

"Guys? Why are you up?" Don asked.

"Funny thing, I was about to ask ya the same" Raph said.

"Is everything alright, Donnie?" Leo asked.

"Yeah, just… couldn't sleep" Don said entering into the room and closing the door behind him.

"Seems like you're not the only one, Raph" Leo chuckled.

"Or maybe lil' doc Donnie here came to check how's the patient doin'?" Raph laughed.

"Kinda. I don't know why but I felt I had to come and see if he was ok" Don said.

"This is for our earlier chat, isn't it?" Leo asked. He had the slight feeling that his brothers were affected for the conversation earlier in the morning.

"I guess" Don answered sadly.

"Maybe you can stay here tonight, if that makes you feel ok" Leo suggested.

"I don't wanna bother you, Leo" Don shook his head.

"Nonsense, you can stay Don. What about you, Raph?" Leo asked.

"I wasn't gonna leave ya anyway" Raph chuckled.

"Can I join too?" A sleepy voice joined the scene.

"Mikey?" Don said noticing his orange masked brother leaning on the door's frame.

"Come in, Mikey" Leo said smirking.

"Can't sleep either, huh?" Don asked while he placed another chair near Leo's bed. Mikey nodded and took his seat.

"I was wondering if… if it's possible, you know…" Mikey started.

"Yeah?" Leo asked.

"Can we bunk here tonight? Like the old times" Mikey said.

"Sure, why not?" Leo smiled.

"Yay! You're great Leo!" Mikey said cheerfully hugging Leo.

"Though I don't think Leo's bed is big enough for the four of us" Don chuckled.

"I can stay here" Mikey smiled rocking his chair a little.

"In the chair? Last time ya slept in a chair ya were whining like a baby 'cause yer neck hurt" Raph said.

"Hey! I wasn't whining… not like that" Mikey pouted.

"Oh, ya were" Raph teased.

"Was not" Mikey replied.

"Ya were"

"Was not!"

"Ya were"

"WAS NOT!"

"Aren't you gonna stop them?" Don chuckled looking at Leo.

"Why should I? This could be the last time I enjoy one of their arguments" Leo laughed. Everyone stopped talking in that moment, that wasn't exactly what they wanted to hear.

"Guys, I was kidding! I told you I wasn't leaving before talking to you. I promised, ok?" Leo said.

"But you said it; you could leave us anytime! We could be sleeping and…" Mikey commented.

"Mikey, have I ever broken a promise?" Leo interrupted him.

"Well, no but…" Mikey said sheepishly.

"Leo, this is way different. We're talking about… death here, you know? That's something none of us can control. Not even you" Don explained.

"Uh, guys? I think that's enough creepy-stuff-talking for today" Raph interfered.

"Raph's right. You better sleep now; it's kinda late anyway" Leo added.

"But I'm not sleepy" Mikey said with a long yawn. Clearly lying.

"Yeah, whatever you say Mikey. Just another thing: no matter what happens tonight or tomorrow or when my times comes… you have to stick together and keep being the great team you are, ok?" Leo said.

"At least we'll try to be" Don shrugged.

"I'm sorry I was mothering you every second, Raph" Leo said.

"It's ok. That's yer nature; I should've known that long time ago" Raph smiled.

"Don, sorry for yelling you that night you went out to the junkyard. I should have control myself" Leo continued.

"Don't worry; it was my fault after all. We all knew The Foot was still looking for us and yet… I went out" Don said.

"Lucky you they didn't catch ya" Raph added.

"And Mikey, sorry for slicing your Mp3" Leo said.

"Bro, we both now it was an accident. I shouldn't have left it in the dojo on the first place" Mikey said.

"Why are ya apologizing for all that stuff again?" Raph asked in curiosity.

"I always felt guilty for those things. I guess I needed to let them out… again" Leo shrugged.

"C'mon, it's not like they're gonna haunt ya forever!" Raph chuckled.

"And there it is again: creepy stuff" Mikey rolled eyes.

"Ok, ok. No more talking. Sleep, now!" Leo ordered.

"Yes, Oh Fearless Leader" Raph teased.

"Can we do one more thing?" Mikey asked.

"And that is?" Raph asked back.

"GROUP HUG!" Mikey yelled cheerfully.

"Oh no! Ya know I hate hugs!" Raph replied.

"C'mon Raphie, pleeeease?" Mikey pleaded.

"Ya say that nickname again and I'll…" Raph growled.

"It's not a bad idea. I don't remember the last group hug we had" Leo said smirking.

"Leo, not you too!" Raph slapped his forehead.

"Please, Raph. Do it now and… er… I won't call you Raphie for a year!" Mikey insisted.

"Deal… but make it fast" Raph sighed heavily.

Mikey was the first one hugging Leo being joined for Don and finally Raph who was still reluctant. On the other hand, Leo was more than glad Mikey decided to do that; he missed their group hugs.

"Love you, guys" Leo said smiling.

"Love you too, bro. You're amazing!" Mikey said. A little weight on Leo's lap and a meow made them broke the hug.

"Hey! Where did you come from?" Leo chuckled while he lifted Klunk.

"Didn't you leave him in the lair?" Don asked.

"I did!" Mikey answered.

"I guess certain someone has been learning some ninja tricks like hiding in Mikey's bag, huh? You wanna stay here too, Klunk?" Leo asked nuzzling Klunk's head. The cat started to purr.

"I'll take that as a yes"

"Ok, sleep time for everyone. Night guys" Raph yawned taking his seat near Leo's bed so his head could rest on his brother's bed. The others did the same.

* * *

The hours passed. Suddenly a bright light filled the room; the silhouette of a man appeared and walked towards Leo's bed. The blue masked turtle felt a cold air and the little light made him open his eyes slowly.

"W-what… what is it?" Leo said with a yawn. The man came closer.

"Who are you?" Leo asked rubbing his eyes. The light dissipated revealing a familiar face.

"It… it can't be! You're…" Leo's eyes went wide. The man smiled.

"Oh my…! It's an honor! My sensei talks a lot about you. Guys, wake…" Leo said cheerfully but then he stopped. He found himself standing on his feet in front of this man but he hadn't even felt when he moved.

"Wait a sec, what am I doing up? When did I leave the bed?" Leo asked to himself. The man remained in silence waiting for Leo to realize the obvious.

"I… never left the bed, did I?" Leo said slowly.

"Just a part of you did" the man finally spoke.

"If just a part of me is here then…" Leo said and turned around. He gasped in horror when he saw himself in the bed… lifeless.

"N-no… I… I can't! Not yet! I promised them!" Leo said nervously.

"It is time to leave, Leonardo" the man said turning around.

"Wait!" Leo stopped him. The man faced Leo again.

"At least… can I say bye?" Leo asked sadly.

"But you can not return to your physical form" The man reminded him.

"I know but I have another way to say farewell. Please, I promised them" Leo pleaded. The man nodded.

Leo took a deep breath and walked towards the sleeping form of his brothers; he felt so light and he couldn't feel the annoying pain on his legs and arms anymore. That was the good part of being dead. He placed a hand on Don's shoulder and smiled.

"Love you Donnie, keep creating" Leo said and placed a soft kiss on his genius brother's forehead. Then he moved to Mikey who was snoring soundly; this made Leo chuckle.

"Love you Mikey, keep smiling" Leo said a repeated the action he did with Don. Suddenly, Leo felt eyes staring at him. It was Klunk, the cat could see him.

"Hey Klunk. Keep an eye on Mikey, ok? He will need you more than ever" Leo said rubbing the cat's head. Klunk meowed and purred quietly. The blue masked ninja felt a pressure on his right hand, like someone was holding it. He looked at his body's hand.

Indeed _someone_ was holding it: Raph.

Leo felt a pang of pain and guilty on his heart. He wanted to stay a little longer, keep his word and talk with his brothers for one last time… say goodbye as he promised he would. But Leo understood there was no turning back now. His time had come. He placed his spirit's hand on the top of Raph's

"Love you Raph, thanks for everything. You were and will be my best friend. Take care of the others and yourself, bro. You'll be a great leader" Leo said and kissed his brother's forehead.

After this, Leo walked to the man's direction. He looked at his brothers one last time before disappearing with the blinding light that filled the room.

Leonardo Hamato was dead.

* * *

Well *sniff,sniff* I did it.

I killed Leo *cries* This is so sad!

Reviews please?


	15. Chapter 15

Shell, I slept like a baby last night! Well, at least a lil better compared from other nights.

"Meow, meow" Grrr… darned cat.

…

…

"Hey Klunk" Raph scratched the cat's head. The cat meowed insistently.

"What is it? Ya hungry?" Raph asked again. Klunk jumped to Leo's lap scratching his plastron.

"Hey! Let Leo sleep. He needs to" Raph grabbed the cat. Klunk squirmed trying to free himself from Raph's grip while he meowed fiercely.

"Could someone please make Klunk to shut up?" Don said rubbing his eyes just waking up from his sleep.

"Hey Mikey! Yer cat's awake; I think he's hungry" Raph shook Mikey and handed him the cat.

"Hmm?" Mikey woke up and grabbed Klunk who gave longer meows, like he was crying.

"Nope, he's not hungry. He's sad" Mikey said recognizing Klunk's meows.

"How do you…" Don started.

"It's my cat, guys; I can tell you when he's hungry. When he meows like that is because he's sad" Mikey explained.

"I can't believe how this doesn't seem to bother Leo" Raph added. The turtles stared at Leo for awhile who apparently "slept" peacefully.

"So… who's hungry? I'll make pancakes!" Mikey said happily making his way out, Don and Raph followed him. Klunk managed to free himself from Mikey's arms and ran to Leo's bed again.

"KLUNK! COME BACK HERE!" Mikey yelled. Klunk sat on the blue masked turtle's chest meowing louder.

"Leave Leo alone, you lil'…" Raph said taking the cat away from his brother touching Leo's chest in the process. It felt cold…really cold.

"Guys… he's cold" Raph said.

"Wait, what?" Don asked in surprise.

"I can't feel any pulse, either" Raph said panicking when he touched Leo's neck and didn't feel anything.

"Get Leatherhead, Mikey. Raph, start CPR. I'll be back in a sec" Don said. Raph started pressing Leo's chest while Mikey ran downstairs.

"Don't ya dare… not now!" Raph muttered.

"Back. Where's LH?" Don said placing the oxygen mask on Leo's face.

"In coming, bro!" Mikey yelled from downstairs. With all the commotion, April woke up.

"Mikey, what is it?" April asked.

"Leo's not breathing" Mikey said and ran upstairs. The red haired human gasped and ran to get Casey and Splinter. Meanwhile, Leatherhead and Don tried everything they could to get Leo back… with no success.

"C'mon Leo. You have to breathe!" Don muttered. Though they tried the best they could, it was clear that Leo had been dead for a while. LH confirmed this and now he had to give them the bad news.

"Donatello, he is… he is already gone" LH said sadly.

"No, it can't be… IT CAN'T BE!" Don replied angrily.

"Apparently he's been dead like 5 hours. He died in his sleep" LH continued.

"I refuse to believe it!" Don yelled still pressing Leo's chest.

"Donnie…" Raph grabbed Don taking him away from the body.

"THIS CAN'T BE REAL! Leo can't be… Leo can't…" Don struggled trying to escape from Raph's grip.

"I am really sorry, my friends" LH said and left the room. Don managed to free himself from Raph's hands and checked Leo's nonexistent pulse again. The genius turtle growled in frustration and slumped in the bed near Leo.

"Donnie, calm down! We knew this was gonna happen" Raph said calmly placing his hand on Don's shoulder. The latter brushed the hand away and gave Raph an angry glare.

"Calm down? My brother is dead and you want me to calm down?" Don yelled.

"Leo is… dead?" A voice in the door frame said. Don and Raph turned around just to see Mikey looking at his dead brother's body in disbelief.

"Mikey…" Raph started.

"Is that true, Raph?" Mikey said with a shaky voice. Raph nodded.

The orange masked turtle approached to the bed and took one of Leo's hands on his feeling how cold it was; Mikey closed his eyes allowing some tears to run free. Raph was a little surprised how his baby brother was taking the eldest's death: it seemed like he accepted his brother's fate, like he knew this was inevitable and he understood this perfectly. It was actually a really mature attitude coming from the well known prankster. On the other hand, Don wasn't taking this in a good way.

"I can't believe it. He's… he's dead! He's really dead!" Don repeated closing his eyes tightly preventing any tears to come out. Raph understood Don was just pretending to be strong but repressing his emotions wasn't the thing he needed to do now. The red masked turtle sat beside his genius brother and gave him a one arm hug.

"I know it's hard Donnie. But look on the bright side, he's not suffering anymore. LH said he died in his sleep so… he left without pain either" Raph tried to calm down his brother. Don started to breathe a little faster; he was going to collapse any time soon.

"Don't need to be strong now, Donnie. If ya need to let it out, do it" Raph encouraged his brother. Don couldn't resist any longer and started crying softly on Raph's shoulder. Mikey joined his brothers resting his head on Raph's left side, crying as well.

Downstairs, Leatherhead had explained everything to the others. April was devasted with the news; Casey tried to comfort her though he still fought his own tears. Leo wasn't as close to him as Raph was but he was a great friend and adviser. Splinter had gone upstairs to see his sons and try to comfort them, especially the younger ones; he knew Raph was dealing this well although he felt hurt but not as hurt as his other brothers. The old rat found Mikey and Don being comforted by Raph and sitting beside Leo's body. Splinter walked towards Leo's bed and stroked Leo's face gently, his eldest and beloved son was dead… but he still had three more that needed him, so he had to remain calmed and strong.

* * *

Hours later and after a long talk, they all decided Leo should be buried immediately. Casey and Raph worked on the coffin while Leatherhead and Splinter took care of the body. Mikey and Don were still a little shocked to even dare to touch his brother's body again so they stayed with April till everything was done.

"Well, the coffin is ready" Casey said entering with the wooden coffin.

"Thank you, Mr. Jones" Splinter bowed.

"Where are Mikey and Don?" Raph asked.

"They're getting ready for the… ceremony" April said, her voice breaking a little. She had meant to say "funeral" but it was too much for her.

"And… Leo?" Raph asked.

"His body is resting on his room for now. We were waiting for the coffin" LH said. Minutes later, everybody was dressed in black outfits, sitting in the porch and waiting for the coffin to appear.

"Master Splinter…" Raph started.

"Yes, my son?"

"I know the ceremony gotta be quick but… can I have a moment with…?" Raph asked hesitantly. Splinter understood.

"Of course, Raphael. We will be waiting downstairs" Splinter said and left the house to join the others in the porch.

"Thanks sensei" Raph thanked and went upstairs. His brother was also dressed in black. For Raph, it was very hard to believe his brother was dead especially when he didn't look like he was. The red masked turtle approached to the bed and sat beside the body.

"I don't know if ya can listen wherever ya are now but… I just hope you're in peace and without pain. Heh, ya don't look like ya were dead, y'know?" Raph chuckled sadly taking Leo's hand on his and stroking it with his thumb. He let out a shaky sigh and continued.

"I wish I could close my eyes and pretend none of this is happening… and yer… sleeping, just sleeping but… but I know that's not possible" Raph continued, he started to feel a knot tightening on his throat.

_Like A Comet_

_Blazing 'Cross The Evening Sky _

_Gone Too Soon_

_Like A Rainbow_

_Fading In The Twinkling Of An Eye_

_Gone Too Soon_

"Y'know what's the funny thing? Ya actually broke yer promise. Ya left us… without saying bye" Raph said with a sad smile. For once on his life, the Fearless Leader had broken his word. _Fearless Leader_… the thought of his brother's nickname brought tears to Raph's eyes. He wiped them away.

_Shiny And Sparkly_

_And Splendidly Bright_

_Here One Day_

_Gone One Night_

"I know it's silly to ask but… why? Why ya left us? Couldn't ya stay a lil' longer? Not even for Donnie or Mikey… or me?" Raph asked with a shaky voice not expecting to be answered

_Like The Loss Of Sunlight_

_On A Cloudy Afternoon_

_Gone Too Soon_

_Like A Castle_

_Built Upon A Sandy Beach_

_Gone Too Soon_

"Ya promised, Leo. Ya promised them, ya promised us… ya promised me! Ya promised me ya weren't leaving yet!" Raph said half angry, half sad. More tears came to his eyes, now he let them run free.

_Like A Perfect Flower_

_That Is Just Beyond Your Reach_

_Gone Too Soon_

He remembered moments like this when he cried without being seen. Leo always discovered him and comforted him with a hug and soft words. Though Raph pretended to hate this "motherly" action… he always allowed his brother to do it. But now, Leo wasn't here; no more hugs, caring words… no more comfort. No more Leo.

_Born To Amuse, To Inspire, To Delight_

_Here One Day_

_Gone One Night_

Raph let go Leo's hand and hugged his brother's body to his. All attempts to be strong were in vain now. He had comforted his brothers… now _he_ needed comfort. The red masked turtle sobbed shamelessly on Leo's cold neck.

"Ya promised me…" Raph whispered and continued crying. Leaning in the wall, there were Leo's katanas. So faithful to him, no matter how many times they had been broken, they always returned to him. This time they were there, unharmed… but their master was never coming back.

_Like A Sunset_

_Dying With The Rising Of The Moon_

_Gone Too Soon_


	16. Chapter 16

The wind was cold, the sky was grey and the whole place seemed to have gone absolutely quiet. No birds tweeting, no bees buzzing… no sounds. Nothing. Except for April's sobs, of course. Don looked really depressed and Mikey…well… he didn't stop crying; my tux's shoulder is all soaked because of his tears, hehe. While the coffin was being lowered, I remembered all the moments we shared with Leo: the good ones, the bad ones, the really bad ones. Our arguments, our fights. Heck! I started to remember all his lectures in that moment.

I wondered how would we be if he died 'cause he was killed or badly hurt in battle. Maybe Don would blame himself 'cause he couldn't save him, Mikey probably would have nightmares and I would look for revenge… and maybe got killed in the process. Perhaps it was good he left this way so we wouldn't suffer so much.

We stayed one more day in the farmhouse before going back home.

…

…

* * *

_A boy flies for freedom__  
__But dies for the peace__  
__In the clouds, he waits for an answer__  
__But there's no release_

The lair feels strange for me now. I don't feel like home anymore. The dojo is so quiet and… lifeless. Everyone is trying their best to keep going but everything here reminds us of him.

_It's__strange__here without you__  
__And it's so hard to see__  
__So brother up in heaven__  
__Please wait up for me_

_Oh brother up in heaven_

_Please wait up for me_

Leo's room looks just the way he left it. Neat and clean. No one but me dares to go inside that room. I don't know why but when I go to his room it's like I can feel him again, I close my eyes and imagine he's there sitting on his mattress meditating.

_I still see his shadow__  
__His__laugh__lingers on__  
__When I dream, we're all back together__  
__When I wake, he's gone__  
_

Splinter tries to be strong for everyone but I've seen him crying in secret. I don't blame him; he was the closest to Leo and vice versa. I try to cheer up the guys, help them to keep going with their life. I make sure Don doesn't overwork himself and check if Mikey is not having nightmares in the night. It's tough work, really tough. I wonder how Leo managed to deal with all this by himself… plus my old harsh behavior. _  
_

_It's strange here without you__  
__This was not meant to be__  
__So brother up in heaven__  
__Please wait up for me_

Sometimes I want to give up, forget everything and escape. I know, that's the coward's move… but I can't help it! This is just too much. Leo was the perfect big brother, I can't replace him. There are days when Donnie doesn't wanna listen to me and Mikey lies to me telling me he's ok and doesn't wanna talk to me. I remember I did the same to Leo. Now I know how he felt.

But I can't give up. I can't leave them. I'm the big brother and leader now, I promised to protect them. Maybe I can't replace Leo and be the perfect big brother but at least I can try to be a good brother.

_And though we try to change the world__  
__A flower when it's cut will surely die__  
__So why do men with so much hate__  
__Destroy what they cannot create__  
__While we all stand by_

I still don't accept he's gone but I have to pretend I'm ok for my brothers. Maybe that way they'll understand they have to move on. Leo wouldn't like them to suffer and mourn their whole life. 

_We will look back in anger_

_But you helped us to see__  
__So brother up in heaven__  
__Please wait up for me__  
_

I know it hurts. I know we're still angry and feel powerless. But we must go back to our old life. And wait for the day we reunite again.

_Oh brother up in heaven__  
__Please wait up for me_

* * *

Thanks for the song suggestions Margui. This one was perfect for this chapter. I decided _Gone to soon_ suited perfectly for chapter 15 so... ^^ I'd never seen the videoclip of that M.J. song but when I did it I almost cried. It was dedicated to a boy who died of AIDS. Perfect ^^

This story is almost done, dear readers. Please review ^^


	17. Chapter 17

It's been two months since Leo's death. Things are pretty different here in the lair. Apparently Splinter got over it, he looks more calmed but I can't tell the same of Donnie and Mikey. Especially Donnie. He barely speak to us now, he's more focused on his projects and nerdy things and that has to stop! We ain't family anymore! This is not how it's supposed to be, what would Leo say?

Ok, time to have a lil talk with my genius bro.

…

…

"Hey Don" Raph said knocking the lab's door.

"Not now, Raph. I'm busy" Don said dryly.

"It looks like. Mind if I stay here?" Raph asked.

"Whatever. Just don't touch anything" Don shrugged and continued with his work. Raph stayed in silence not sure of what to say.

"Don't you feel a lil lonely here?" Raph asked after awhile. Don didn't answer.

"I mean, you're all the time here with machines and computers and your notes. I would've gone nuts with…" Raph continued.

"Raph, I'm busy. If you're gonna keep talking, please leave this place now" Don interrupted him.

"Not until we talk" Raph replied.

"I have nothing to say" Don sighed.

"Donnie, you're not the same anymore! You changed! You're acting just like you did before Leo…" Raph said.

"Don't… don't talk about him" Don said not wanting to hear anything about his dead brother.

"Don, it's been two months. You have to move on, keep it going, keep living! You can't mourn Leo all your life" Raph commented. Don walked away leaving Raph talking alone.

"Where do you think you're going? We're not done!" Raph followed Don.

"Leave me alone, Raph!" Don said slumping in the couch.

"Donnie, I'm just trying to help you" Raph insisted.

"I said leave me alone. I'm fine" Don replied.

"Don…"

"This has nothing to do with Leo" Don lied. This had everything to do with Leo.

"You're still being a bad liar, bro" Raph chuckled. Don tried to ignore his brother's words.

"Whatever it is you have to let it out" Raph encouraged. Don knew Raph wasn't going to leave him. He had to talk.

"I thought I could get over it soon. But everything here reminds me of him. I tried to fill my mind with so many projects and information… anything! I tried but… but…" Don's voice sounded broken and hurt.

"It's ok. I felt the same. But y'know what? Leo wouldn't like to see you hurting yourself like this. You know how hissy he got when you stayed up late at night" Raph said with a friendly smile. Don chuckled at the comment.

"Yeah, I still remember those lectures. I didn't know Leo could yell for two hours straight!" Don said.

"Two and half, bro" Raph corrected him.

"What? Are you serious?" Don laughed.

"I was more lectured than you, Donnie. In fact, you were more like… eh… the good guy here" Raph said.

"You mean I am!" Don replied smirking.

"Well, not with this behavior of yours" Raph teased. Don's smile disappeared for a moment.

"I'm sorry Raph but… I still miss him" Don sighed.

"We all miss him. But we can't cry over him all the time; it's not healthy. We have to remember all the good times we had and keep going with our life. Again, Leo wouldn't want to see you like this. We need our genius and brother back. So, what do you say?" Raph asked hoping his words would be enough to calm down the genius turtle.

"It'll take me a while but I think I'll be ok" Don smiled a little.

"Alright. So, no more staying up late" Raph said.

"Ok" Don nodded.

"No moodiness" Raph continued.

"Alright" Don rolled eyes.

"No overworking" Raph added.

"I got it, Raph. Geez! And I thought Leo was bossy" Don chuckled.

"Hey, I ain't bossy!" Raph replied.

"Yes, you are" Don teased.

"I'm not" Raph replied again a little angry.

"You are" Don kept teasing.

"I'm not!" Raph growled.

"You are" Don chuckled.

"Say that again and I'll make sure you don't forget my fist!" Raph threatened him waving his fist in front of Don's face.

"Sounds like old Raphie is back" Mikey appeared into the scene.

"Mikey, what did I tell you about that nickname?" Raph turned to face Mikey.

"I don't remember anything about that… Raphie" Mikey giggled.

"Why you!" Raph growled and got up the couch starting to chase Mikey around the lair.

"Hahaha, catch me!" Mikey laughed.

"When I'm done with you, you're gonna regret the day you were born, lil' twerp!" Raph yelled. Don couldn't help but chuckle at this typical scene. Things were different without Leo, which was true. But somehow, he would learn to live again.

…

…

* * *

Tonight it was our first night patrolling the city all together after two months. I missed the sounds, the lights, the air… everything! Sure it was weird without Leo but like I said…we have to keep going. Donnie seems a little more calmed; I'll have to keep an eye on him just in case he goes back to his old self again.

Well, now they're all sleeping. Mikey decided to sleep on Donnie's room. He wanted to go to my room but I have a hammock, hehe. Too bad.

I'm glad things are starting to go back to normal; my brothers and father are healing slowly but they're healing.

Now you may ask: _"Hey, what about you? Have you healed?"_ Well, I have an answer for that.

No. I haven't healed. I have to pretend I did, pretend I'm ok, pretend I'm strong just for them. For my family. There are so many nights I can't sleep because of the memories, those ghosts of the past always torturing me, haunting me. The things I made wrong, the things I said to him, the times I hurt him both physically and mentally.

When the nightmares are gone I go to Leo's room, the only place where I can find some relief. His katanas on his sword rack have not trace of dust, I make myself sure of that; his bed is not cold all the time, sometimes I'm too tired to go back to my own room and I end up staying there.

This is the only place where I can let out all my emotions, my stress and my pain. This is the only place where I can cry till I fall asleep.


	18. Chapter 18

A year passed; things in the lair were almost back to normal. The family's bonds had become more united and stronger. Splinter was proud of each of their students and their new style of life: Michelangelo trained more than fooling around but that didn't mean he had stopped pulling pranks on his brothers; he never abandoned his childish style. Donatello kept creating and stopped staying late at night; he still remembered Leo but only remembered the good times, those memories always made him smile and his brother's words gave him courage to continue with his projects and training. Even though both Mikey and Don had made Splinter to feel proud, it was Raphael who made the old rat felt proudest. The red masked turtle trained not only his body… but also his soul. He became wiser, skilled, a better brother for his brothers, a better son for his father and a great leader for his team. Leonardo had chosen well.

But not everything was perfect. There were days when Don or Mikey were haunted by bad memories, sadness and pain. Raph was always there for them, helping them to forget the past and remembering them their joyful moments. That seemed to calm them.

Since Mikey started having nightmares every night after Leo's death, Raph had to say bye to his hammock and get himself a bed so Mikey could stay. The orange masked ninja wasn't scared of embarrassed of asking his red masked brother for some company anymore. Now, Raph was more than willing to help and make some room on his bed for his baby brother.

Sometimes the red masked turtle's old behavior came back when Mikey was too annoying. He would chase his little brother around the lair and maybe leave him with a black eye or something. The old hotheaded Raph hadn't left yet.

All seemed to be perfect. Except for one thing: pain did never leave Raph's heart. He had made sure his family stopped suffering all this time that he had forgotten about healing himself. His nights weren't peaceful. He blamed himself for all the things he said and did to Leo. He wanted to tell him how much he admired and loved him but Leonardo was gone, he would never hear those words.

* * *

Leo's death's anniversary came and the family moved to the farmhouse where he was buried. Small tears ran through everyone's eyes, it couldn't be helped. The grave had been cleaned and decorated with roses and incense. The turtles and their human friends stayed the whole day sat near the tombstone and returned home when the night came to the farmhouse.

Like many other nights, Raph checked his brothers' rooms to see if they were asleep. Don and Mikey slept soundly and peacefully; that calmed Raph who moved to the eldest's room like he did now. But this time, sleep claimed him and Raph ended up falling asleep on his brother's futon.

...

...

**Midnight**

Don started sweating and his breathing increasing; he was having a really bad nightmare. He wanted to scream his lungs out but he couldn't. Then, a warm sensation on his forehead and the nightmare was over. The feeling of a gentle caress on his face made the genius turtle smile. The curious thing was… the caress felt familiar, cold but still gentle and familiar.

Mikey wasn't doing so good either. His nightmare was as terrible as Don's…. maybe worse. He started to cry softly; he wanted to get up and call for his brothers but his body refused to move. A warm sensation on his forehead made the fear disappear; his tears stopped and the nightmare was gone at last. The young ninja could felt his tears being wiped away. The coldness of the touch made Mikey shiver a little but he felt comforted and safe.

Raph was also having nightmares, but it had become a habit for the red masked ninja so he didn't make any attempt to wake up. His head twitched to and fro and his hands clawed in the sheets. He felt something warm and comfortable on his forehead, a familiar action he knew very well. Immediately, his nightmare disappeared. Many questions came to Raphael's mind: could be him? Was he here? Or it was just a simple dream?

"You're not dreaming if that's what you're afraid of, Raph" A voice said. Raph slowly opened his eyes. A well known face smiled at him.

"Leo?" Raph said and sat up immediately.

"Hi, bro. You almost freaked me out when I didn't find you in _your_ bed" Leo chuckled.

"Leo, you're back!" Raph said happily.

"Not exactly but if that makes you happy…" Leo shrugged.

"I can't believe it. I gotta call the others!" Raph laughed. When he was about to leave the bed, Leo grabbed his wrist stopping him.

"Raph, calm down. I'm not back and I can't stay for much longer" Leo explained.

"Why not?" Raph asked in confusion.

"Isn't that obvious?" Leo said mockingly.

"But you're here!" Raph insisted.

"Like I said, I'm not exactly here" Leo replied.

"So you're telling me you're a ghost?" Raph asked.

"Kinda" Leo smiled.

"Ok, now I know I've gone mad" Raph sighed.

"You haven't gone mad, Raph" Leo laughed.

"Leo, I… I know this is not the right moment but… why did you break your promise and left?" Raph said. He had wanted to say those words long time ago.

"You think I would have left you without saying bye as I promised? I would have loved to talk to you one last time but… I didn't have another choice. But before I left, I did say farewell. You were sleeping, that's all. I had to came back to leave that clear so you could stop hurting yourself because of me" Leo said.

"How do you…" Raph managed to say before was interrupted.

"Maybe I died but that doesn't mean I'm not watching over you" Leo smirked. Raph blushed a little, ashamed of being discovered.

"Sorry" Raph said sadly and lowering his gaze.

"For what? For being a great brother and leader? For being my best decision ever? Raph, you don't need to be sorry and most importantly, you have to stop killing yourself the way you're doing it" Leo said

"It's just… it's hard, Leo" Raph said, his voice breaking a little.

"I know. Being big brother can be…" Leo started.

"No, not that" Raph interrupted.

"Then, what's hard for you Raph?" Leo asked in curiosity. Raph met his brother's gaze, some tears on his eyes.

"Seeing you here now and knowing you won't stay" Raph said with a shaky voice. Leo knew what his brother needed. He approached to him and hugged him like he did before. Raph didn't hesitate and returned the hug allowing himself to cry.

"I need you, bro. I'm not strong enough" Raph sobbed.

"You are, Raph. You have to believe it… like I did" Leo said receiving a confused gaze coming from Raph.

"I always envied your strength, both physical and spiritual. Your strength kept us together and is still doing it. I'm very proud of you" Leo said proudly.

"Well, I had a great master" Raph smiled.

"We all had it, Raph" Leo added breaking the hug.

"I was talking about you" Raph commented. Leo smiled warmly and hugged his brother again.

"Love you, bro. Take care of you and the others, ok?" Leo said. Raph nodded.

"And stop crying over me, it's not…" Leo continued.

"…healthy. I know" Raph completed his brother's phrase. Leo knew his time to leave had come. Raph could feel it too.

"Leo, can you do me a favor?" Raph asked.

"What is it?"

"Stay a little longer, please" Raph said tightening the embrace. Leo chuckled.

"I wish I could, bro"

"It's ok, I understand. It was nice to see you again" Raph said breaking the hug.

"Same thing, bro" Leo said standing up and walking away from his brother.

"Leo…" Raph called.

"Yes?" Leo turned around.

"I wanted to let you know that I never hated you. I always admired and loved you" Raph said. Leo smiled.

"Raph, I knew that. I always did" He said.

"Anyway, I needed it to let it out. I…I better stop talking and let you go already" Raph chuckled but he still felt sad. He didn't want to let his brother go but it was necessary.

"Love you, bro" Leo said hugging Raph again.

"Love you, too" Raph hugged him back. After that, Leo disappeared. Suddenly, Don and Mikey opened the door in one fast move.

"He was here!" Don said almost yelling in excitement.

"He was in my room!" Mikey said with a big smile.

"I know, he was here too" Raph smiled.

"You think… he came back to… you know, say bye?" Mikey said sitting beside Raph.

"He already said bye, Mikey. He just came to check how we were doing" Raph said.

"Will he come back?" Don asked sitting beside Mikey and hoping the answer was a yes.

"Don't think so but… y'know what? He's not suffering anymore, I could notice it" Raph commented surround Mikey and Don with his arms.

"Did you see him?" Mikey said with a sparkle in his blue eyes. Raph nodded.

"I did. He's ok and he wants us to be ok too. He's watching over us now till we reunite again" Raph said hugging his brothers who returned the embrace.

"I love my life but… I hope we reunite soon" Mikey said with a sigh.

"Well, if you keep pulling pranks on me I'm sure I'll send you with Leo soon!" Raph teased. The three brothers laughed like they did in the past. Sadness and pain were now erased from the Hamatos' hearts. They would still be a team… but now they would have a guardian angel looking for them.

**THE END**

* * *

Well, it's finally done ^^

Stay in touch for more stories coming soon!

Your friend Who says _"Sayonara!"_


End file.
